These are my sisters, my best friends.” Kourtni Diva, Not Your Ex Lover‘s lead singer and lyricist, said of the band. “They know what’s going on in my life in my songs. That’s why I write them,” she joked. “I’m never nervous to show them things. It’s always about what could work for the band.”
On perhaps what was Bend’s last cloud-free day for months, I met with the local rock band for some expert opinions on the art of songwriting.
Julia Canales, the band’s lead guitar player, sees the craft as a noticeably collaborative process with her bandmates. “I think that it definitely shows up in the songs. When we do start to put our parts together, we have such different musical backgrounds, but we also have those few that all of us have really pulled inspiration from,” Canales said.
Bassist Alyssa Reyes, a.k.a “Reya” had nothing but praise to heap on her fellow musicians. “Kourtni is a prolific songwriting queen. There was this month where she pumped out something like 10 songs. It’s stuff that’s in her mind and on her heart and the ones we pick up and prioritize as a group are the ones that really speak to all of us,” she said.
The band agrees that a healthy appreciation and sense of its own work has been the difference in the creative process. And they’ve been touched by the level of love and excitement songs have received at recent shows.
“The most exciting thing for me recently, is that I’ve had younger girls come up and ask me for advice or ideas on the guitar,” Canales recalled. “I’ve been a musician for a while, but I’ve never been received this way. That’s been really impactful,” she continued.
“There’s a reason everybody likes us,” Diva said, the sunlight bouncing off her facial glitter making her eyes sparkle more than they already were. “Thirty-year-old women like us because our music is relatable to what they’re going through. Old men like us because we’re hot. Young women like us because we’re something to aspire to. I think we have something for everyone,” Diva remarked.
“Genre has been on our mind lately,” Diva continued, “…Kiki mentioned some bands the other day that are post-punk and we all agreed that the influence is there, but it’s not what we are,” she said.
Kiki Castro, Not Your Ex Lover’s snare-tearing drummer, summed up her influences rather succinctly.
“Long as it’s not country. I cannot stand that shit.” Castro laughed.
For her influences, Diva lists Paramore and Good Charlotte and isn’t afraid to acknowledge being a “Swiftie.”
“Taylor Swift is a big lyrical influence for me… If you like our music, you like Taylor Swift. Even if you don’t know,” Diva offered.
“Now you know,” Reyes chimed.
Moving to another topic, a vote is taken on albums versus singles. Three-fourths of the outfit agree that albums are more than worth the listen, except for Caneles who insists that it depends on the artist whether or not she’ll commit the time.
“There’s a reason artists put their albums together the way they do and we should respect that. F*ck the shuffle button,” Diva stated.
This article appears in Source Weekly November 9, 2023.
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