The past few months have been undeniably hard for many of us. Watching any amount of national news can be both disorienting and panic-inducing as the systems we’ve relied on for our entire lives are threatened by an overly empowered group of (mostly) super-rich, white men. Being from a marginalized community — or at the intersection of a few — feels increasingly unsafe.
For Bend’s all-girl “bubble grunge” band Not Your Ex Lover, the aggressive actions of Donald Trump’s racist, sexist regime feel like an attack from all angles. “I won’t lie; this new administration is very threatening to every aspect of our band as we are all women, Mexican and most of us are queer,” says lead singer and rhythm guitarist Kourtni Diva. Acknowledging intersectionality and working for shared causes is something she’s quite familiar with, having released the song “Great Again” in 2020 with the help of filmmaker Jesse Locke, the Latino Community Association and fellow activists.
It shouldn’t be surprising that the folks leading the charge to make our spaces feel inclusive and inspiring are within our local music community. “We have a voice and amplifiers — we’re going to use them,” lead guitarist and violinist Julie Canales says. “I’m honored to take the stage and create a space where we can be with community, dance, scream lyrics at the top of our lungs and prepare ourselves to keep pushing for positive change for everyone.”
“At this point, it feels impossible to see all the injustice around us and not want to scream about it,” adds bassist and singer Alyssa Reyes (aka Reya). And the group has been channeling that energy into works like a new song, “UNiTED STATES of REGRET,” which touches on Diva’s buyer’s remorse concerning “the societal lie that is the American Dream.” She explains, “As Americans, we were promised the basic rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. All of which are currently being threatened under the new administration. As people of color, we’ve been fighting for basic human rights since before my grandmother’s time and we’re still fighting.” (You can check out a live recording of “UNiTED STATES of REGRET” from the band’s Feb. 15 show at The Commonwealth Pub on all streaming sites.)
The band doesn’t take its status as an all-girl band — and the responsibilities that come with it — lightly. “It’s important for women to see us speaking our truth and doing what we love so passionately. We hope it inspires them to do what they’re so passionate about, whether that’s music, art [or] getting their medical degree,” Diva says.
“It feels really powerful to be a part of something like this, especially in a time when women are fighting so hard for space and safety,” Reyes adds. “It extends beyond making music — it’s about creating a support system. We celebrate each other’s creativity and growth, but we’re also there to hold each other up when things feel dark. That kind of community and solidarity is everything right now, and we’re lucky to have it.”
Giving a platform to, and making literal space for women in the music community and beyond has been a priority for Mari, the lead singer of Mari & The Dream. In addition to running an open mic every Tuesday at The Cellar, she hosts a monthly Ladies Night at Silver Moon Brewing that was inspired by her own challenges finding her footing as a woman in the local music scene.
“When I was trying to find a band,” she says, “I made a Craigslist ad but got nothing but unwelcome, perverted comments. I wanted to work with other female artists because it felt safe. I created my Ladies Nights to make sure ladies feel safe and supported to express themselves. I want to give the ladies in our music community a platform and an opportunity to share their art. I also want to create new connections within our community and inspire more women to gain confidence and step on stage.”
Over the past two years, the event has grown from just solo artists to women-led bands to even including women-owned businesses that can set up booths and sell products. And Mari isn’t going anywhere. “With everything going on in the world, these events feel even more important to continue. I’m always open to more vendors and new local artists supporting women.”
In these dark times, both Mari and the women of Not Your Ex Lover are engaging in the ultimate form of protest: holding on to joy.
“Every single Ladies Night event that I have hosted warms my heart and inspires me, and hopefully others,” Mari says. And as Reyes explains, “Keeping your sparkle even in less-than-desirable experiences… [is] a way of saying [that] the world might be going up in flames, but right now, we’re still here, we’re still breathing, we’re still creating.”
This article appears in The Source Weekly February 27, 2025.
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