A Healing Practice for Women

It was 2008. I was in college working toward my math degree at San Jose State University in California. During the weekdays, I worked as a math tutor to help make some extra money while putting myself through college. I was always told I was good at math. That might have been the only thing I was good at, or at least that is what I told myself. I was finally on my own and supporting myself, though through meager means.

One day, a coworker of mine had suggested I try a pole dancing class with her, and much to her chagrin, I disagreed. I told her I didn’t think I was the kind of person for that class. I struggled majorly with body image issues, and really didn’t have many kind things to say about myself. I had struggled a lot as a teenager, which later I found out was due to a lot of PTSD. After much begging, my friend convinced me to go with her.

I saw that this place could be a place of
acceptance, of healing, of growth in no other way I had ever found.

That evening, as I was crossing the railroad tracks to enter into the industrial building complex, I began to tear up. I wasn’t ready to go into a random building with women I didn’t know and exercise around a metal pole. I would look stupid, I thought. I called up the studio crying, telling them to just keep my money. I wasn’t coming. I couldn’t face this. The instructor told me I could just come watch. I didn’t have to do anything if I didn’t want to, so I did.

Upon watching all of these amazing people, all shapes, ages and sizes lift each other up and cheer each other on, I saw that this place could be a place of acceptance, of healing, of growth in no other way I had ever found. I became addicted. I was sold from that day forward; pole showed me that I could be strong inside and out. I could conquer things I never thought possible — that I am beautiful, capable and proud. From that day forward, I vowed to one day create a space that could do the same for others that this place did for me. In 2021, I opened the doors to Altius Pole Studio in Bend, and though my goal is to help heal others, opening this place has healed me too.

This article appears in The Source Weekly February 27, 2025.