Posted inOutside

There are No Trilobites in Oregon: Well, maybe…

Now that I’ve reached that “ripe old age” of over 80, I find myself enjoying fossils more than I did years ago. Do you suppose someone’s trying to tell me something? Be that as it may, for more years than I care to remember, I’ve heard the old axiom, “Some day, someone will find a trilobite in Oregon.” Well, maybe.
One place to look is in the fossil-bearing Permian limestone of Coyote Butte near the Nevada border in southeast Oregon. “Hold on,” you say, “We have a Coyote Butte along China Hat Road, southeast of Bend.” Sorry, that’s a cinder cone, no trilobites there, it’s volcanic in origin and several millions of years to young.

Posted inOutside

Roaming the Aisles: A marathon a day, sexy robots and other dispatches

I sure wish that headline read, “Roaming the Isles” and this column was coming to you from a sea kayak in Fiji or a sailboat in the Bahamas. Instead, I just returned from the aisles of the Orange County Convention Center in Orlando, Florida where I make an annual pilgrimage to the Surf Expo Trade Show.
As far as trade shows go, fondling boards and hanging out with legends like Shaun Tomson at Surf Expo is probably a helluva a lot more fun than, say, schmoozing with a bunch of morticians at the Casket and Funeral Supply Association of America (CFSAA) Fall Conference & Trade Show held in November in Indianapolis. Or investigating the latest porta-potty technologies at the Portable Sanitation Association International (PSAI) Convention & Trade Show held every year in Daytona Beach. Maybe not quite as exciting though, as checking out Foxy Roxxxy, the world's first sex robot that was unveiled at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas last month. The dark-haired, negligee-clad, life-size robot comes complete with flesh-like synthetic skin, artificial intelligence and can converse about football.

Posted inCulture

Teetering on the Edge of Salvation: Mel Gibson proves surprisingly entertaining in Edge of Darkness

Mel Gibson has been hiding behind the camera, producing and directing since starring in 2002's dreadful Signs, perhaps a wise choice since he spent equal time revealing weird religious philosophies and actively shocking us with his crazy off-screen persona. But now Gibson makes his somewhat triumphant return to the screen in Edge of Darkness, yet another Massachusetts-set crime thriller in which we're forced to spend time debating the authenticity of the actors’ Boston accents. The good news is this one is not without its merits.
As it happens, the film is a remake. Director Martin Campbell upgrades his 1985 British mini-series (which he also directed) in which a straight-laced father, an inspector of the local police force, deals with the mysterious death of his activist daughter, and the murkiness of the British Nuclear Policy.

Posted inCulture

The Crime Bowl

I have a deeply rooted psychological problem, and… wait. What do you mean, “No shit, Sherlock”? For all you know, YOU'RE the one with a deeply rooted psychological problem, and I'M the one who's AWESOME… and NORMAL! Now I'll happily admit that my feelings toward the Super Bowl (CBS, Sun Feb 7, 3 pm) run counter to that of most of the nation. Half of you, for example, love the spectacle of steroid-addled meatloafs giving each other concussions and chasing a ball around a field for the opportunity to score a touchdown and feel up each others' asses on the sideline. (Actually, that doesn't sound half bad… but don't interrupt me! I'm on a roll!) The other half don't give two poops about football, and are instead fans of zany and wildly expensive Super Bowl commercials (that are almost as homoerotic as the real life sideline ass grabs – I'm looking at YOU, Snickers!). And because I hate both of those things, I'M THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY CRAZY ONE??

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