Ahem!! Three things of note before I express an opinion that will surely get me lynched. Note #1: The sixth and final season of Lost kicks off this week, y'all (ABC, Tues Feb 2, 9 pm)! In this very special episode we'll discover the downsides of detonating a hydrogen bomb. (Special guests: The kids from Glee! Sigh. I wish.)
Note #2: Right now there's a special Syfy contest (with prizes!) that's not called, “Name Our Next Terrible Made-for-TV Movie” even though it should be. The channel that brought you Mansquito and Sharks in Venice needs a title for their next flick about a knight who comes in possession of a holy relic that unleashes a murderous demon. My suggestion? Pat Robertson Is a DICK. I don't think it's going to win. Submit yours at syfy.com/moviecontest before February 14!
Smaller: Not Always Better!
Last Temptation of Eli: Thumping the Good Book, Denzel walks the walk in Book of Eli
The Book of Eli gives us yet another post-apocalyptic end of the world saga. This time, Eli (Denzel Washington) walks through barren wasteland carrying a machete and a Bible. It's almost like Eli travels in the footsteps of Viggo Mortensen, who recently set down his own apocalyptic travelogue in The Road. With the washed-out landscape, deserted and decaying skyways, junked cars, rotting skeletons and onramps to nowhere, both have the feel of post nuclear Westerns. Shot in New Mexico with the Sony RED digital camera, Book of Eli, at the very least features some impressive massacre scenes.
In Eli, due to some divine intervention, the title character must walk “west.” Referring to “before the flash,” a holy war of sorts that blew up the sun, everyone now wears protective (and sometimes designer) sunglasses and no one person under 40 knows how to read or has ever seen a television. Water is scarce and people have turned to cannibalism, but it's all about Eli and his journey. This includes fending off marauding Road Warrior-like thugs (who rape, murder and pillage around every turn), dispatching people with his mystical fighting skills, ending up in a town that resembles a post-apocalyptic Deadwood, adopting an apprentice against his better judgment, going head – to-head with an evil villain and, of course, spreading the gospel. Eli, a true Bible thumper, severs limbs and decapitates with a ninja assassin's flair while trying to remain righteous. Eli doesn't turn the other cheek, but he will chop one off.
Not Quite as Dumb as it Looks: Harrison Ford and Brendan Fraser inspire us with the true health care events of Extraordinary Measures
Now here's something strange: Extraordinary Measures is essentially a bad television movie played out on a big screen – a banal exercise in paint-by-numbers drama – and then, unbeknownst to itself, it's also a powerful cinematic critique of the American medical industrial complex.
From the director of What Happens In Vegas, this is an idiot savant of a movie. Utterly oblivious to the recent political battles over health care reform, Extraordinary Measures has blundered onto the scene, and by the dullness of its narrative, far exceeds the comparatively mild attempts of Sicko and John Q in exposing the American health care system's dark side.
Forget Paris: The Saboteur fails in Nazi-occupied France
The Saboteur must have sounded like a brilliant idea when it was explained to executives at Electronic Arts, the game's publisher. “Like Grand Theft Auto, but set in Nazi-occupied France,” I imagine the pitch. “And the main character can climb buildings and dash along rooftops like Assassin's Creed, but instead of some quasi-mythical organization, he's fighting for the resistance. He can liberate Paris.”
Sean, the game's Irish hero, heaves himself from window-ledge to window-ledge with tireless drudgery. When climbing down, he unfailingly raises his arms all the way up before dropping them to catch the next ledge, resulting in slow descents intermingled with fast falls. On the ground he's not much more graceful. When he jumps, it looks like he's riding a small invisible elevator up and down. He can enter “sneak” mode, which has almost nothing to do with sneaking, but certainly seems to dial down the Nazi's computer-controlled hearing.
Kitsch and Cakes: The Westside Bakery and Café's hearty morning meals
Gravy, potatoes and cinnamon rolls as big as my face: classic items that immediately make me think of an old-school diner. Both are available in plenty at Galveston's Westside Bakery and Café where it's always breakfast no matter the time of day.
The menu features much more (with lunch options and baked goods), but with breakfast items served all day, the morning meal is sure to please at this popular spot. Most in Bend are well aware of the wonder that is the Westside Bakery and Café – I'm only sad it took me so long to discover.
After having passed by the café many times, I finally ventured inside on a recently blustery winter morning. Quirky décor immediately set the café apart from other downtown eateries, with a giant wooden Elvis and a Big Bird statue situated amongst wooden tables and high shelves filled with figurines surrounding the dining room.
Kitsch and Cakes: The Westside Bakery and Café's hearty morning meals
Gravy, potatoes and cinnamon rolls as big as my face: classic items that immediately make me think of an old-school diner. Both are available in plenty at Galveston's Westside Bakery and Café where it's always breakfast no matter the time of day.
The menu features much more (with lunch options and baked goods), but with breakfast items served all day, the morning meal is sure to please at this popular spot. Most in Bend are well aware of the wonder that is the Westside Bakery and Café – I'm only sad it took me so long to discover.
After having passed by the café many times, I finally ventured inside on a recently blustery winter morning. Quirky décor immediately set the café apart from other downtown eateries, with a giant wooden Elvis and a Big Bird statue situated amongst wooden tables and high shelves filled with figurines surrounding the dining room.
Water World, Hold the Costner
There used to be a bartender in Denver who wore a button that said, “Ask me about water, no ice.” Only the truly daring would venture the question because the answer was a whirlwind of hate and distaste she had for those who didn't just take their water from the tap with some ice cubes in it. I don't share this hatred, but I am always amazed by all of the creative ways people have found to enjoy one of life's simplest pleasures.
A lot can be learned from the person who places a water order.
No ice? You think a lot about hydration and you don't sip your water you inhale it. You will drink at least three full glasses of water in long gulps and the only reason you stop devouring it is because you don't know what's going on in conversation as you've spent most of the evening making trips to the restroom.
Full-On Party: The happy hour funk (and honky tonk and rock) of The Quick & Easy Boys
It's a Friday afternoon in Portland and like so many others of us on this, or any other Friday afternoon, Sean Badders is trying to make it to happy hour in time.
But he's not rushing to grab a cheap beer and some discounted hot wings. Rather, Badders is en route to meet up with the two other members of his band, The Quick & Easy Boys, at the Laurelthirst Public House. This is where for the past year the band could be found about once a month, playing to the sort of crowd that likes to, as Badders puts it, “dance at six o'clock in the afternoon.”
For the past couple years, people have been gladly dancing and drinking along to the sounds of The Quick & Easy Boys in Portland as well as the other cities through which the band has toured. They've become, in a way, the ideal bar band – a three piece rooted in rock and roll that wears its funk and honky tonk influences on its sleeve. Maybe this is what the Hold Steady would sound like if they came up in Oregon and not New York City.
How I Figured out Larry and His Flask are Getting Huge
OK, so I'm pretty damn sure that Larry and his Flask are opening some East Coast shows for Dropkick Murphys.
How do I know this? Here's the story:
Central Oregon's own acoustic Americana-meets-punk band is pretty much always on tour – the exception being their recent stay in town where they've been playing a string of local shows, including a Wednesday night residency down at Mountain's Edge.
So it wasn't a surprise to see that their MySpace page now features a long list of shows as far off as Virginia, keeping the boys on the road well into mid-March. But then I started noticing the venues they were playing: House of Blues (Atlantic City, Dallas and Orlando), Austin's famed Stubb's and a few other high-profile names. These are big rooms – larger than the clubs, bars and living rooms LAHF has made a career out of playing for the past several years.
Spoon: Transference
Spoon
Transference
Merge Records
It doesn't take long for lead singer and songwriter Britt Daniel and the rest of this Austin-based outfit to establish on Transference that they're more than capable of picking up where they left off with the outstanding 2007 effort Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga. But it's where the band goes from there that really makes Transference shine, not just apart from the rest of the band's catalog, but apart from most of the other indie pop style offerings out there.

