Posted inCulture

Fast Forward: Fast & Furious uses old model and broken parts to predictable results

Apparently the way to make the fourth sequel is to take out "The" from the title and cast all the main actors from the 2001 original. But this movie is such a predictable hunk o' cheese that I can only hope that the video game is more fun. Neither the plot nor the dialogue graduates beyond the 8th grade. The opening sequence is impressive with its over-the-top oil truck hijacking. But after that initial wallop, the movie fizzles out.

The story again teams up Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) with Brian O'Connor (Paul Walker) to bust a heroin dealer and seek revenge for the killing of Letty (Michelle Rodriguez). After that it's very simply good guys vs. bad guys… period. The plot holes open faster than pop up windows on a porn site. Around three quarters of the way through the film, F&F actually stops making any sense at all. The dialogue is so clichéd that it was down right laughable. There are some exchanges reminiscent of Tonto talking to the Lone Ranger. "This bad." "Go here." "Why for?" "Take tunnel." I half expected Vin to say, "Crash site tell heap big story." After O'Connor demolishes around 15 cars, a police chief actually utters this tired old line, "You had better have one good goddamned explanation for this." And a henchman warns, "When GPS calls you follow." Vroom!

Posted inCulture

Dirty Jobs: Sunshine Cleaning scrubs away memories of lesser movies

Oh my god, and he left the toilet seat up, too!The unemployment picture may need to get a little worse before most of us would resort to cleaning up blood and organ tissue from crime scenes for a paycheck. Although I think we're getting there.

Sunshine Cleaning is a film about a pair of sisters who try to turn their lives around by making a killing, so to speak, from cleaning up after suicides, homicides and other bloody happenings. It's the kind of movie that one would think is inspired by recent economic chaos - if not for the fact that the film was made more than a year ago, and screened at Sundance in January 2008.

Posted inFood & Drink

The Efficiency

It would be extremely efficient if the bar was like a coffee shop and there was one line where people ordered and one place where they picked up. No one would ever get missed, everyone would wait the exact same amount of time for a drink, and nobody would ever wait for change or a credit card slip.

Posted inFood & Drink

The Efficiency

It would be extremely efficient if the bar was like a coffee shop and there was one line where people ordered and one place where they picked up. No one would ever get missed, everyone would wait the exact same amount of time for a drink, and nobody would ever wait for change or a credit card slip.

Posted inFood & Drink

Eat, Drink and Learn: Get a culinary education at Allyson’s Kitchen

Chop to it.Ever wonder why your cooking doesn't come out as good as a restaurant chef's dishes? Cooking classes can help shed light on tricks of the trade that turn raw ingredients into delicious meals. I recently attended a cooking demonstration held at Allyson's Kitchen in the Old Mill, and was amazed at how many helpful hints Chef Joe Morgan showered on his audience while simultaneously turning out a 5-course restaurant-quality Italian meal.

The three-hour cooking demonstration, called "An Evening in Italy," was a treat for the senses. Fourteen "students" sat enrapt on tall barstools and tables in front of the long granite countertop that houses Allyson's Kitchen's demonstration kitchen. From our high vantage points, we could see into most of the full galley-style kitchen. A mirror placed at an angle above the countertop allowed us a bird's eye view of what went on in aluminum mixing bowls and ceramic-coated cast iron pots below.

Posted inFood & Drink

Eat, Drink and Learn: Get a culinary education at Allyson’s Kitchen

Chop to it.Ever wonder why your cooking doesn’t come out as good as a restaurant chef’s dishes? Cooking classes can help shed light on tricks of the trade that turn raw ingredients into delicious meals. I recently attended a cooking demonstration held at Allyson’s Kitchen in the Old Mill, and was amazed at how many helpful hints Chef Joe Morgan showered on his audience while simultaneously turning out a 5-course restaurant-quality Italian meal.

The three-hour cooking demonstration, called “An Evening in Italy,” was a treat for the senses. Fourteen “students” sat enrapt on tall barstools and tables in front of the long granite countertop that houses Allyson’s Kitchen’s demonstration kitchen. From our high vantage points, we could see into most of the full galley-style kitchen. A mirror placed at an angle above the countertop allowed us a bird’s eye view of what went on in aluminum mixing bowls and ceramic-coated cast iron pots below.

Posted inMusic

From Soul to Metal in 24 Hours

OK, so Bend's music scene might not be the most diverse in the Northwest, but don't tell that to Team Sound Check, which went from a club full of aging Deadheads to a raucous bar packed with metal heads in the span of 24 hours. How's that for genre shock?
Thursday night, we were at the Domino Room where Steve Kimock Crazy Engine brought in a dedicated fan base to watch the guitar master's new band, which funkified the place for two full sets of originals with a few choice covers mixed in for good measure.

Posted inOpinion

Bringing Back Sobriety Checkpoints

"A man's house is his castle," the English jurist Sir Edward Coke declared in 1644.

America's founders put it into more ornate language almost two centuries later: "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."
Although neither Sir Edward Coke nor the authors of the Bill of Rights had ever heard of automobiles, we're confident that if they had they would have said the inside of somebody's car should be just as secure as his house from unreasonable, warrantless searches.

Posted inOpinion

Ron Jeremy vs. Star Wars: The Dear Leader launches one, the Rockefeller cheeseburger, and more

Editor's note: The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from somewhere between Burns and Ashland, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.

Obama Spreads His Wings
The tour de force that is our new President visited Turkey, where locals made "Barack-clava" and a Syrian was arrested on suspicion of wanting to stab him. Then Air Force One had mechanical problems and was forced to land in a country decimated by war and corruption. Iraq, where Obama paced anxiously, biting his lower lip, as spokesmen explained that he was really there to "honor our troops." The reason for the whirlwind tour was an emergency meeting of world powers (AKA the "G-20" or "OK Corral") last Thursday in London, where sheiks, Asians and Aryans were all too eager to see a hip hop star in person. $1.1 trillion in financing for the International Monetary Fund was secured, though no one knows what the IMF does, and no agreement on any global stimulus plan was reached. Yep, another trillion and plenty of pictures, millions spent on travel, riot gear and detaining protestors… Obama called the meeting "the turning point in our pursuit of global economic recovery," adding that, "There are no guarantees." Nearby, the Rothchilds and Rockefellers met at a McDonalds and agreed over cheeseburgers that the economic downturn will last until, say, September.

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