Cold beer and cool toes. Hot! It wasn't just hot at the Fifth Annual Bend Brew Fest last Friday and Saturday, it was Discovery Channel Serengeti hot. It was the type of heat that pounds you into a pancake puddle. Thankfully, those in charge had provided 80 brews, 6 marquees, and two kiddies' pools as cooling stations. Once I tossed the kiddies out of their pool, I soaked my feet and struck up a conversation with a woman in the adjacent pool.
"Water transfers heat from the body four times faster than air."
She peered over her mug and fired a warning shot. "Talk to me again and I'll call security." Okay, so she wasn't in Discovery Channel mode. It was time to slip into my sandals and hydrate with a ginger ale, an albino python, and an arrogant bastard.
Last year there were 30 brewers with a total of 60 beers. This year, that increased to 40 brewers and 80 beers. And a reliable source states they hope to have 50 brewers and 100 beers next year. Party on. Along with your official drinking mug, you got 5 tokens to start you rolling and a nifty little guide to the brews so you could grade your favorites. Maybe next year they could provide us all those little golf pencils. Not sure this beer crowd travels with writing implements. Not sure this crowd can write more than a mark anyway. For those who could read, the names of these handcrafted beers are worth the price of admission-which happily is nothing. I don't care what they taste like, you have to love beers with the names Dancing Trout, Axe Head Red (I think I dated her once.), Hazed n Infused, Sweaty Betty (I know I dated her.), Dogzilla, and my personal favorite-Rejewvenator from Shmaltz Brewing Co., the maker of He'Brew, the chosen beer.

