There's a chance you're unable to read this. It's quite likely that your vision has been obscured by tears, your belief in love shattered and your ability to even crawl out of bed suspended by a deep depression upon learning this week that Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from her husband, NBA star Kris Humphries, to whom she was wed for a mere 72 days.
If you can make out these words, brave soul, fear not. Kim will be back in search of another professional athlete to play the role of her “boyfriend” or “husband” in the myriad of brain-cell-canceling television programs her family occupies. After all, she and Humphries, who is supposed to be a forward for the NBA's New Jersey Nets, but isn't doing much besides getting dumped these days, received a reported $18 million in cash and in-kind compensation for getting married. She'd be silly not to do this again.
The Boot
County Commissioners Whychus Gaffe
You've got to hand it to Deschutes County Commissioners, at least they're consistent. For years, the county's triumvirate stubbornly refused to throw its collective weight behind a grassroots effort to create a new wilderness area at the BLM's Badlands area east of Bend. They eventually settled on a no-formal opposition position, clearing the way for proponents to take the question to Congress where The Badlands Wilderness Act was ultimately signed into law in 2008, formally creating Deschutes County's first federal wilderness. Despite opponents' fears, the sky hasn't come crashing to the ground, no one has outlawed four wheeling, and the nearby ranching industry hasn't collapsed. To the contrary, the Badlands, by many accounts, is in better shape than ever. Motorized trespassing is down as is illegal dumping and poaching of the ancient juniper forest.
On any given day there are half dozen or more vehicles parked in the trailheads off Highway 20 as locals and tourists alike embark on hikes through the lava-sculpted area.
High Noon in the Pumpkin Patch
For years, Matt Lisignoli's pumpkin patch and corn maze near Terrebonne have been a Halloween-season tradition with Central Oregon kids and their parents. They go there, wander through the maze, pet some farm animals, maybe pick out a future jack-o-lantern or two. A wholesome, non-noisy, non-intrusive good time is had by all.
But now, like Lucy sadistically yanking the football away from Charlie Brown, Deschutes County wants to kill all the fun. It's telling Lisignoli that his operation is a “commercial use” of agricultural land and is threatening him with a $720 fine if he doesn't jump over the requisite legal hurdles to get a permit for such a use.
Those hurdles could turn out to be pretty high. First there are the county fees, which (according to county officials) could run anywhere from about $400 to several thousand dollars. On top of that, as the county explained in a letter to Lisignoli in January, “there may also be building safety and waste disposal requirements related to the use which would not be known without an actual site plan review.”
“Managing” Wolves to Extinction
When wild wolves started returning to Oregon after an absence of more than 60 years, the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife developed something it calls its “Wolf Conservation and Management Plan.” Judging by the results so far, maybe ODFW should rename it the “Wolf Eradication Plan.”
Just a year ago, there were 21 gray wolves in three packs living in the forests of remote northeastern Oregon. Now, mostly because of poaching and the killing of wolves by ODFW and by ranchers with ODFW permits, that number is down to 14 – and ODFW wants to cut it to 12.
Tony DeBone Has a Dumb Old New Idea
Old beliefs die hard – especially the dumb ones. Despite all the evidence, some Central Oregon public officials still cling to the faith that they can pump life into the moribund local construction industry by giving builders a break on Systems Development Charges.
SDCs are fees levied on new construction projects to help cover the costs of things like new roads, sewers and water systems. For the past three years the City of Bend has offered builders a special deal under which, instead of paying their SDCs up front, they can delay payment for nine months or until their project gets a certificate of occupancy, whichever comes first. (It's essentially an interest-free loan to the builder.) City Finance Director Sonia Andrews reports that more than $900,000 worth of fees has been deferred so far, and builders still owe the city $285,000.
Telfer Takes the Axe to the Arts
Oregon government can't offer many shining success stories over the past decade, but the Oregon Cultural Trust is one of them.
The brainchild of the late State Sen. Ben Westlund, in less than 10 years it's amassed an endowment of more than $15 million. It has given grants to more than a thousand artistic and cultural nonprofit enterprises, including about 30 in Central and Eastern Oregon. The Museum at Warm Springs, the High Desert Museum and the Cascade School of Music all have benefited from Cultural Trust grants.
The Bulletin Doth Protest Too Much
“Never complain, never explain,” said Benjamin Disraeli, prime minister under Queen Victoria. Ever since their announcement that Western Communications Inc.
Bend's Builders Come Begging Again
In baseball, the rule is three strikes and you're out. But if you're part of the building and development lobby in Bend, you just stay at the plate and take as many swings as you want.
Three years ago, in the throes of the Great Recession, the local builders had the bright idea of asking the city to let them defer paying Systems Development Charges – the fees charged on new construction to help cover the cost of new roads, sewer lines, water mains and other stuff made necessary by growth. Instead of paying SDCs before starting construction, the builders wanted to wait until they applied for an occupancy permit or nine months after they submitted their initial paperwork, whichever came first. Supposedly this was going to kick-start the city's stalled construction industry.
Time to Clear the Air in Redmond
It seems safe to assume that Brian Lemos has a more colorful past than the average high school principal.
During the 1990s, when he was teaching in the Tillamook School District, Lemos had several run-ins with the law. DUI and fourth-degree assault in 1992. Fourth-degree assault in 1995. Disorderly conduct and possession of a small amount of marijuana, also in 1995.
DON'T TRASH BEND'S GARBAGE
While leaving my trash at the Knott Landfill yesterday I was exposed to what I believe was a misconception on what constitutes waste. What had recently been disposed of on the concrete floor of the landfill's dumpsite were many large boxes (some boxes appeared to be unopened) of brand new footwear. From the number and size of the boxes I would guesstimate 100 pairs of good footwear were included in this pile. I noticed colorful rubber boots, sandals, shoes and a tempting pair of hiking boots with what was probably a new pair of socks stuffed into one of the boots. I also noticed what appeared to be a perfectly good duffel bag as part of this pile of “trash.”

