I’m shocked…shocked!!! You didn’t give The Boot to MeShell Ma Bell when she went to Spain on our dimes, or should I say thousands. Maybe she doesn’t see the bumper stickers that say, “Make Local Habit,” because she rides around in limos with tinted windows and can’t see the real world.
The Boot
Here Comes the Judge!
I'll admit it! I've got a huge beef with American Idol. For years I have (okay, perhaps unwisely) used this column as a bully pulpit to point out Idol's numerous flaws – the worst being that I've never appeared on the show, or won. It's freaking ridiculous, guys! Their job is to choose America's next worship-worthy singing star, AM I RIGHT? And yet? They've repeatedly barred me from competing because of stupid and completely discriminatory age requirements! Result: AMERICA LOSES.
SDC Deferral: Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest
Well, they went and did it again.
Two years ago, following the calamitous bust of the real estate bubble, the Bend City Council voted to give local builders and developers a break on their SDCs. SDCs – Systems Development Charges – are fees paid to help cover the cost of improvements to roads, sewer systems and other stuff made necessary by development.
Under the resolution the council passed, a builder doesn't have to pay SDCs up front. Instead he can wait nine months or until an occupancy permit for the new structure is issued, whichever comes first. The city gets a lien on the property in case the builder doesn't pay up. The deal essentially amounts to a nine-month, interest-free loan for the builder.
McDonald's Super Sized Signage
There are few symbols – save Old Glory and maybe a slice of apple pie – more symbolic of mainstream American culture than McDonald's sweeping yellow arches.
While there is nothing wrong with McDonald's per se – we enjoy a basket of fries and Big Mac as much as the next person, maybe more – there is a big problem with America's dietary relationship with McDonald's and the rest of the fast food industry that McDonald's has rightly or wrongly come to represent. That relationship is more like dealer and junkie than that of restaurant and customer, something that Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock noted a few years back when he reported that McDonald's refers to its frequent customers, as “heavy users.” It's a relationship that McDonald's courts with its aggressive marketing toward children (McDonald's distributes more toys than the nation's biggest toy retailers in any given year) and its oversized portions.
American Tax Dollars and Imported Workers
If you're an American worker or taxpayer, the headline at the top of The Bulletin's front page on Sunday made your blood boil – or should have.
“Stimulus jobs go to foreign workers,” it said. Underneath it, a subhead elaborated: “Oregon contractors hiring for forest work, say qualified locals unavailable.”
Don't Blame the State for Wolf Problems
I look forward to wolves re-establishing themselves throughout Oregon. I take a keen interest in each new sighting, the expansion of their territory, and the environmental benefit they bring. I also think you may have missed the boat giving the boot to the Oregon Department of Fish & Wildlife (ODFW). The agency spent years crafting the Oregon Wolf Conservation and Management Plan. Representatives of all Oregon stakeholders helped draft that plan. Ranchers and county officials from northeastern Oregon were the only represented groups who opposed the final plan.
Ranchers opposed that plan with good reason, they were afraid for their livelihood. The killing of a single calf or lamb is an economic loss to them, that means they make less money and must spend more money and time changing the nature of their grazing operations. Having large mobile predators on the land with grazing animals has incredible environmental benefit, yet creates significant problems for ranchers. Ranchers are the one of the primary users of rangeland in the intermountain west, and the primary stewards of that land. If we don't like what they do with that land, we need to work with them to create a new use pattern – not shut them down.
Hassling Oregon's Home Brewers
This probably is a historic first: This week's edition of THE BOOT was inspired by a bit of imbecility involving Oregon's liquor laws, but we're not giving it to the Oregon Liquor Control Commission.
The OLCC, it seems, is just an innocent pawn in this story, which involves the regulation of home brewers. Oregon's liquor control law – enacted shortly after the end of Prohibition some 70 years ago – forbids anyone not licensed by the OLCC to make alcoholic beverages but carves out an exception for “the making or keeping of naturally fermented wines and fruit juices or beer in the home, for home consumption and not for sale.”
The Room Tax Chiselers
We've seen businesses perform some amazing acrobatic feats with numbers, but the cast of Cirque du Soleil couldn't top the stunt that Wayne Purcell, Brett Evert and some other Bend hotel owners are trying to pull off.
About 10 years ago, when the city decided to raise its transient room tax to 9%, the hotel owners pleaded for – and got – a $10-per-person credit for the supposed cost of providing complimentary breakfasts to guests. For example, if a couple rented a room for $100 a night, the hotel could knock off $20 for the meal credit and thus owe room tax on only $80.
The Three Stooges and Their Destination Resort Routine
It's good to know people in high places. Just ask Keith Cyrus and his family.
Cyrus, the descendant of five generations of Central Oregonians, is a member of the Deschutes County Planning Commission. He also is the developer of Aspen Lakes, a tony golf course subdivision near Sisters.
Getting The Boot: Then end of a bad spring season for college football?
Consider me one who wasn't surprised when Phil Knight University (formerly known as the University of Oregon) quarterback Jeremiah Masoli got sacked after yet another run in with the law. Consider me even more shocked that the University’s athletic department didn't try to strike a deal to get him back on the field at some point in his career.

