The Straight Poop

Monday, Aug. 8
Life on the downgrade: Stock market resumes plunge on first Monday after Standard & Poor's lowers US credit rating; Dow drops 634 points … US Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner rips S&P, says it has “shown really terrible judgment” … Street fighting men, and women: Rioting in Britain enters third day, spreads from London to Birmingham, Bristol and Liverpool … Oh, Jackie: British tabloid says ABC News has tape of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis blaming Lyndon Johnson for JFK's assassination, but ABC says report is “total nonsense” … Or is that “shafted”? Former Tiger Woods caddie and Sunriver resident Steve Williams has harsh words for ex-boss: “I’ve caddied for the guy for 12 years, I’ve been incredibly loyal to the guy and I got short-shrifted.”

Monday, June 20
What could possibly go wrong? Tennessee Valley Authority, oblivious to Japan's Fukushima reactor disaster, plans six new nuclear plants in eastern Tennessee. At least there won't be a big tsunami risk … Big day for the Supremes: US Supreme Court's conservative majority strikes down massive sex discrimination class-action lawsuit against Wal-Mart … Court also unanimously strikes down suit aimed at forcing cuts in greenhouse emissions from power plants … Just when we needed some good news: Forecasting firm IHS Global Insight predicts Portland will return to pre-Great Recession employment levels in 2014, but Bend won't reach that point until (gulp!) 2021 … Only in America: Richard James Varone, 57, of North Carolina, unemployed and uninsured, robs bank of $1 so he can go to jail and get medical care for various ailments.

Tuesday, June 21
Losing traction: On the heels of 16 campaign aides quitting earlier this month, Newt Gingrich's top two fundraising advisers resign; campaign reported more than $1 million in debt … Still clueless after all these years: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says he's “puzzled” as to why some folks were upset when he blamed Arizona wildfires on illegal immigrants … Scare tactics: US Food and Drug Administration unveils hideous cigarette pack images of festering sores, etc., aimed at discouraging smoking … Wrist slap: JP Morgan Chase & Co. agrees to pay $153.6 million to settle civil fraud charges. That's less than it makes in a week … Sweet music: Violin built by Antonio Stradivari in 1721 auctioned for $16 million; proceeds go to Japanese earthquake relief.