Source Weekly, Author at The Source - Bend, Oregon

Stephen Hawking Gets More Tail Than Me

I get a lot of tail—we hold this truth to be self-evident. HOWEVER! It’s causing me no small amount of distress that world-famous theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking probably gets more tail than I do.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010March 18, 2023

I get a lot of tail – we hold this truth to be self-evident. HOWEVER! It's causing me no small amount of distress that world-famous theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking probably gets more tail than I do. Now, I realize that “getting tail” is not a competition – except that it is a competition, and Stephen Hawking is winning.
First some background on Stephen Hawking and why he gets such a copious amount of tail. As touched on earlier, Stephen Hawking is famous for advancing humanity's understanding of theoretical cosmology and quantum gravity. In other words, Stephen Hawking studies shit that happens in outer space, which includes, but is not limited to, “black holes,” the nature of space and time, as well as the formation of the universe itself. This is wildly interesting to hippie chicks, who undoubtedly furnish him with tail.

Food & Drink

Keeping the Meat Market Alive: Kicking it old school with Redmond Smokehouse

Confessing that you're a vegetarian among a herd of carnivores at an Angus convention won't win you any friends. Trust me.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010May 13, 2024

Confessing that you're a vegetarian among a herd of carnivores at an Angus convention won't win you any friends. Trust me. But that was a long time ago, when fewer people cared about the animal prior to its place on our plates and in our bellies. The controversy surrounding meat consumption has since taken root with ethical issues breeding like E. coli in America's factory farms. The little guys – the independent meat processors struggling to keep tradition alive – get caught in the crosshairs and end up taking misguided buckshot in the buttock. Yet they are the ones keeping the mystery out of meat. Ben Moore, owner of Redmond Smokehouse for the past several years, knows the origin of his products right down to the field, farmer and sometimes the specific animal. Point is, since he knows where his products come from, so do we.

Food & Drink

Keeping the Meat Market Alive: Kicking it old school with Redmond Smokehouse

Confessing that you're a vegetarian among a herd of carnivores at an Angus convention won't win you any friends. Trust me.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010January 4, 2023

Food & Drink

I Believe the Children are Our Future

There is a slow degradation of society happening that is often head through assertions that today's youngsters (as in 21, but barely so) are less healthy and less educated than preceding generations.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010January 4, 2023

There is a slow degradation of society happening that is often head through assertions that today's youngsters (as in 21, but barely so) are less healthy and less educated than preceding generations. But there is another measurement that should be taken into account and that is their drinking habits.
There is a certain downward spiral that has been happening for the past 60 years. Our grandparents drank brandy from snifters and threw their heads back in laughter while sharing a Tom Collins. They learned how to dance the twist, the jitterbug, and the cha cha. They spent money on dry-cleaning their three-piece suits and stiff dresses to go out and enjoy themselves.

Culture

Our Picks for 4/21 – 4/29: Last Band Standing, Tony Furtado, Empty Space Orchestra, Earth Day and more

What to do in Central Oregon this week.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010April 11, 2025

Last Band Standing
thursday 22
We've got a story in the Sound section about what happens when you put 38 bands in one room and then head to Boondocks for the first show of the Last Band Standing competition. This week features Capture the Flag, Tentareign, Never Heard the Shot, G String Stranglers, and Kleverkill. $3/adv at BIGS, $5/door. 8pm. Boondock's Bar and Grill, 70 NW Newport Ave.
Tony Furtado
friday 23
This is the first show in what we're calling The Weekend of Brain-Boilingly Awesome Live Music™. Furtado is a longtime stalwart of the Oregon roots music scene, using his multi instrumental abilities to stir a crowd, especially in this region. Remember when he rocked the streets at Bite of Bend? Excellence. $10 at bendticket.com. 8pm. Old Stone Church, 157 NW Franklin Ave.

Opinion

Free the Troops: The case for professionalizing the U.S. military

The number of new U.S. Army recruits who are high-school dropouts soared during the Bush years, peaking at 29.3 percent in 2007.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010March 14, 2025

The number of new U.S. Army recruits who are high-school dropouts soared during the Bush years, peaking at 29.3 percent in 2007. The economic collapse made life easier for military recruiters. “Only” 17 percent of soldiers who joined in 2008 failed to graduate from high school. But high unemployment hasn't resulted in enough new high-quality soldiers and sailors.
Recruit quality is important. Uneducated or incapable soldiers are less likely to do well operating high-tech equipment. And they're more likely to do stupid things, like beating up, robbing and raping civilians in U.S.-occupied territories.
The U.S. military is bigger than ever. But it's becoming dumber. It's also getting meaner: in 2008 one in five recruits received a “morals waiver” because they had a criminal record, including felonies. “The main reason for the decline in standards is the war in Iraq and its onerous 'operations tempo'–soldiers going back for third and fourth tours of duty, with no end in sight,” reported Slate's Fred Kaplan in 2008.

News

Election Endorsements: Dugan For D.A.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010July 3, 2024

The Mirror Pond duck race, The Deschutes County Fair, The PPP and Mike Dugan. What do they all have in common? They're veritable institutions in Deschutes County. In Dugan's case, he's served as the county's “top cop” since George Bush (the original) was in the White House. Dugan hasn't faced a challenger since 1990. That's a lot of time to make enemies in a job that can be a political lightning rod. Interestingly, though, his first challenge in two decades is coming from within, sort of. Attorney Patrick Flaherty is a fellow democrat, a surprise to us given the amount of heat that Dugan has taken for his public support of the controversial tax measures 66 and 67 and his relatively prominent role in the local Democratic Party. Dugan's active role in local and state politics doesn't really bother us, after all measures 66 and 67 had as much of an impact on law enforcement budgets as it did on schools. Flaherty argues that there isn't a place for politics in the DA's office.

Opinion

Seismic Sensations: A volcano erupts, SEC bombs Goldman Sachs and a puke-o-rama

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America.

Source WeeklyApril 21, 2010October 25, 2023

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from a rally against Earth Day, or immigration, maybe sunburns or whatever makes white people mad, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
Fabulous Fab's Fool's Gold(man)
So you bought a “synthetic” financial product from a trusted Wall Street giant, betting the billions in the bundled mortgages you now own will do well, unaware that the seller is laughing out loud and also betting billions, but that you'll lose your shirt. Akin to snatching a lemon off a used car lot, there should be laws against such behavior (fraud), but not when the situation involves Goldman Sachs, who was “surprised” by the SEC filing a civil lawsuit last Friday. Sparking a sell-off of the firm's soaring/suspect stock and erasing over $12 billion of its market value, the bank/demon is defending its behavior by saying no laws existed to prevent it from short-selling (betting a stock will fall) its “synthetic CDO” financial product named Abacus in 2007.

News

Couch Surfing: A devotee of a new kind of retail therapy

Source WeeklyApril 15, 2010July 19, 2024

My daughter and I found the perfect sofa on the way to school today. It was just the size and color I was looking to add to the living room. Unfortunately, someone had dumped it upside down in the mud of my neighbor's front yard. Apparently it took too much energy to have a garage sale or haul it to the Salvation Army, or even to leave it on the curb with a “FREE” sign. Apparently this person was also unaware of the unwritten code in the nearby student condos: If it is still relatively clean and usable, place it beside a Dumpster. Then anyone can take it.

Culture

Swinging for the Fences: Latest MLB dreams big but doesn't deliver

Source WeeklyApril 14, 2010June 3, 2024

My first mistake was deciding to play as a catcher. The “My Player” feature, which joins Major League Baseball 2K10 in addition to its basic “play ball” mode, allows me to develop my own character from a generic nobody into a superstar. I assumed that catcher would be a good position to witness various hitters' styles and learn the idiosyncrasies that can tip off whether a pitcher is winding up for a fastball or a curve.
But the life of a “My Player” catcher isn't that insightful. The game only allowed me to play my turns at bat and my chances to run up and grab bunts. Not only did I not get to watch the entire game unfold, but I had very few opportunities to be an active part of the outfield. Trying to move from the bush leagues up to the big leagues was obviously going to be a long, slow stretch if I stayed behind home plate.

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