Iโm lucky enough to avoid driving on the Bend Parkway at anytime, but Iโm most thankful I donโt have to be anywhere near the Empire/Parkway/Hwy 97 disaster that goes north to the light at Cooley Road during 5pm traffic.
If you look at the traffic map of Bend in that area about 5pm, the line isnโt just red; itโs a pulsing, sirens-going-off-like-thereโs-an-eminent-threat-of-nuclear-war warning to avoid the area at all costs. We should tip our hats to the men and women who work at Boneyard Beerโs main brewery; theyโre stuck in this nightmare on a daily basis.
Iโve been caught in this bottleneck before, trying to drive to Madras to visit friends. Sitting through light after light, watching long-haul truck drivers miss gears and stall out their rigs, stranding locals and visitors in the searing heat. Out-of-state cars with the driverโhead down staring at their smartphoneโrealizing when the light turns yellow itโs time to go, then blasting through the red light leaving the 60 cars behind them cursing.
Even in the so-called shoulder seasons the intersections suck. Itโs like the engineer with the Oregon Department of Transportation took out their job frustrations on us foolish drivers.
And maybe the worst part: If thereโs an accident, thereโs nowhere to get off the road, get a beer and chill. Unless you want to have a Bud Light at some national chain restaurantโby a tire shop. Just donโt drink and rage drive!
This article appears in Best of Central Oregon 2018.








