Voted Best Local Band by Source readers, Not Your Ex Lover describes itself as a “Latina, femme, (mostly) queer, ALL GRRL rock band based in Bend, Oregon.”
The band also offers the following: “Their music tells the story of love and heartbreak with a grunge-pop vibe — and lots of sparkle. The band was formed in Central Oregon in 2022, bringing together KOURTNi (lead vocals, lyricist and rhythm guitar). Julie Canales (lead guitar and violin), Alyssa Reyes “Reya” (bass and vocals) and KiKi Castro (drums). Since then, they’ve moved from the garage to opening locally for the Dandy Warhols, Dayglow, Thelma and the Sleaze, and traveling across the land to play at festivals like Treefort Music Fest (Boise, Idaho) and Dream Roll (a women-only motorcycle camp and arts event in Shelton, Washington).”
Credit: Richard Sitts
Band members were asked how and when the band got together.
KOURTNi: It was a beautiful summer day in 2023 . . . I posted on Instagram looking for an all-girl band. KiKi and Reya responded right away! We all hadn’t played in a band before so it was all new for us. We met Julie and the band was complete. We’ve been rocking since our first appearance at M&J’s open mic.
Reya: Some say it was kismet. KOURTNi posted on Instagram about wanting to form an all-girl band, which didn’t really exist in Bend at the time. We spent months making noise in the garage that resembled music until that fateful day, when we met Julie.
the Source: Do the band members have a general philosophy or goal when it comes to playing music?
KOURTNi: Inspire girls and queer people to play music and create art!
KiKi: Art is a form of resistance! Every song is a refusal to stay quiet and remind people that they are not alone. Support your local girl bands!
Julie: If you’re able, get curious about picking up an instrument. If you have and just haven’t played in a while, consider getting back to it. Music is medicine and I’m thankful for it every day.
Reya: We use our voices, our instruments, our songs to share our story and speak out on the things that matter . . . and we do it covered in glitter. Make art from the heart and let it be fun!
Credit: Richard Sitts
tS: Why do you play music, and what do you get out of it?
KiKi: I started playing drums after learning that my grandfather was a famous musician who played at Woodstock. He was the percussionist in the red shirt and black headband in Santana’s legendary performance, and still lives in the Bay Area. Music has always been a part of me. I actually started on guitar, but discovering that connection inspired me to pick up the drums and I haven’t looked back. I also play because I want other women to see that you really can do it all if it’s important to you. Between work, family, running events and being in a band, life is busy. But I’ve learned that we make time for the things we truly care about. If you tell yourself, “I don’t have time,” I’d challenge that. I might be one of the busiest people I know and I’m still here! Playing loud, chasing my dreams, and rockin’ stronger than ever. If I can do it, so can you.
KOURTNi: I’ve been writing poetry since I was very young and have always loved music but never found the push to become a musician. I had picked up the guitar a few times in my life but it never stuck. I started playing live music in 2018 and it was all over from there. I love to perform and I love the way songwriting can connect so many different people. My hope is that our words can help someone who might need to hear them.
Reya: As a kid, I loved to perform. I had a portable karaoke machine that came out at family functions (LOL, it was the 90’s) and I used to dream that one day I would be a famous singer like Selena or something. My grandpa gave me a guitar when I left for college, but I never leaned more than a couple of campfire chords. As I grew up and leaned into academia, my creative side kinda phased out. It took this group of women coming into my life for me to step into becoming an artist and I’ll be grateful for that forever. I feel like our music is an extension of our friendship and the stage is a place for us to be playful, loud and unapologetically honest about what’s going on.
Not Your Ex Lover is writing new songs and has a five-track EP coming out at the end of summer, including the next single, “Ride,” coming out at the end of this month. Plans are to record two more singles this year.
Runner-Up: Cptn Over
Not Your Ex Lover
Aug 21 Cheba Hut
Aug 29 The Commonwealth Pub
notyourexlover.com
Instagram @not_your_ex_lover
This article appears in Best of Central Oregon 2026 and the Source August 13, 2026.
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