Culture

mark Wahlberg and the world’s largest bowling bag on tour. M. Night doesn't make horror movies; he makes long Twilight Zone episodes.
Shyamalan is known for his narrative twist and turns and surprise endings, but he can't conjure his way out of The Happening's poorly executed script. Most of M's tricks are here but the gimmicks are starting to resemble an aging genre hack. Even his obligatory Hitchcock-esque cameo isn't onscreen-the credits are the only place you'll find him.
Unfortunately right when the film gets eerie, it also gets stupid. Underdeveloped characters are complemented by dismal performances from the actors. The initial scene with Elliot (Mark Wahlberg) and Julian (John Leguizamo) is about as phony as movie dialogue gets. And Elliot's marriage to Alma (Zooey Deschanel) isn't remotely convincing. Soap opera dialogue runs rampant with idiotic attempts at tension-releasing comedic banter. The relationship between the two leads is so cute and demeaning that I almost left the theater. Wahlberg plays a guy who keeps it together in the face of doom, but his wimp voice and crybaby attitude dominate the entire evacuation sojourn. He more or less just walks through the role. He had a few chances to chew up the scene. Instead he's a perpetual one-note grimace. Deschanel just runs around batting her baby blues like some kind of coma victim showing us vapidity gone wild. Responding to the theory that terrorists have devised a toxin to make people kill themselves, Alma utters the ridiculous line, "Just when you think no more evil could be invented…"

all this just for a free blood pressure test?Edward Norton finally gets to play a Hollywood hunk, albeit a large green one. The actor's usual cool demeanor gets ripped in this film as fast as his muscles do, morphing from the research scientist Bruce Banner into Marvel Comics' super-conflicted-hero character, The Incredible Hulk. Not to be confused with director Ang Lee's 2003 take on the comic book character, this rendition is not a sequel; it's an entirely new version of the story. In what quickly evolves into a fast-paced paced political thriller, the first half of which bears resemblance to The Bourne Ultimatum, Norton's acting undergoes its own transformation. Not that he'll be an Oscar contender for this roll, but as Banner the actor's intelligence is infused with as much passion, wonder and determination as a film about a super hero will allow. While reinventing the Hulk, though, he's just kick-ass strong.
 
Following a secret US military science project gone awry in the nation's capitol, the action jumps to Brazil where Banner's earnest character draws us into what appears to be the life of an adventurous, backpack toting post-grad student. He hides out in a color-faded hovel with his loyal dog, while learning Portuguese, meditating for anger control, and working among the natives in a bottling company. I found this part of the film much more interesting-particularly visually-than I had expected. Like Jason Bourne, Banner is a fugitive trying to avoid the US government's radar, and eventually he's forced into a chase scene on foot, only instead of Bourne's Tangiers, we follow our man breathlessly as he races through a ramshackle barrio of Rio de Janeiro.

One of the many graphic rape scenesI can't say that this movie is boring. Let's just say it's longer than it should be. It's the kind of documentary you can watch on the History Channel and be glad there are commercials so you can take a well-deserved break.
There are, however, a ton of interesting facts. In fact, I wrote down a lot of them just so I could feel smarter. But the gist of this movie is pretty simple: Hitler stole or destroyed a bunch of artwork. Some items are lost forever. Some were found and restored. There are debates on who gets them after they are rediscovered. The End.
Rape of Europa provides a fairly detailed history lesson on the rise and fall of the Third Reich, introducing a theory that most cities were targeted due to the artwork they housed to accommodate Hitler's desire to build the ultimate Nazi art museum. There was a hit list of cities to be plundered and pillaged for masterpieces he deemed Third Reich-worthy. The film suggests, for example, that Russia's Leningrad was bombed for its Armitage museum. On the other hand, Warsaw was almost annihilated because like the Jews, the Nazis considered Poles a vile race and their art degenerate. That's right, the film suggests that Warsaw was virtually destroyed because its residents had bad taste. Soon, cities got wise to the fact that museums were obliterated and/or looted. There were massive evacuation relocation plans from the Louvre and other museums, moving the precious treasures to remote castles miles away. Oddly, Hitler spared Paris, because he wanted it to be a mere shadow next to his uber museum.

Sandler stars in Teen Wolf IIWho knew that cutting hair could be so gross? Or that co-authors Adam Sandler and Judd Apatow (seemingly in a professional freefall from triumphs such as Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The 40-Year-Old Virgin) could create any relationship at all between a Mossad agent and the gyrating hair stylist in New York City he morphs into? If you think the previews look bad, the movie proves downright nasty. Director Dennis Dugan (I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry) delivers a movie that even made a grown guy sitting next to me cover his eyes more than once.
Sandler combines every disgusting pelvic gesture imaginable with sticky, icky hair crèmes, as he pours, squirts, and spurts various liquids on the manes of middle-to-older aged women in a hair salon. And unfortunately those aren't the only things spurting in this film. For some reason, he then feels compelled to escort these by now willingly wanton women, fairly panting into the back room in order to facilitate their youthful imaginings. Uck. Whatever happened to just bestowing an exaggerated compliment, like "Boy Mrs. Wilson, you look at least thirty years younger with those new gold highlights and spikes?"