Editorial

Order in the Court!
Baby rapers, oil spillers and gang-bangers be heartened! Gitmo be gone, but the new and utterly bought and sold Supreme Court handed down decisions that will impact us for decades - Much like the President Bush, who nominated its two new Justices, Chief Roberts and Count Weirdly Alito. Let's take a look at these precedents, led by quotes from the new members.Court Weirdly
"I've also represented corporations accused of antitrust violations, and I think that balanced perspective is something that's valuable for a judge."
Chief Justice John Roberts stated this on January 29, 2003, before the Judiciary Committee, explaining how whistleblowers can be fired for cause. Roberts also defended Microsoft against States suing for antitrust as a private lawyer. So, when Exxon Mobil came before the Roberts-led Supreme Court, his sympathies were already known. "So what can a corporation do to protect itself against punitive-damages awards such as this?" asked Roberts during the initial arguments in February, seeming to defend Exxon Mobil for employing a known alcoholic captain for the Exxon Valdez in 1989, who crashed and spilled 11 million gallons of crude oil into Prince William Sound. How oh how can we help this poor corporation? Throw out the $2.5 billion in punitive damages (equaling one week of profits for Exxon Mobil) through some archaic maritime law that compensatory to punitive damages must be 1:1. Ahoy! This precedent will reverse medical malpractice, tobacco settlements and corporate malfeasance lawsuits for years; of course Exxon Mobil would have preferred a slap on wrist but, in a shocking moment of conscience, Justice Alito recused himself because he owns over $100,000 in Exxon Mobil stock.

He’s the sheriff!From Iowa, With Love
So I, Mr. Mick McMenaminsus, was lounging in my 9,689-square-foot mansion in Juniper Ridge, you know, the one beside the top-tier university, near the Les Schwab headquarters, made of recycled radials, of course. My cell phone rings: It's my editor calling from Iowa; he's in a tizzy applying for a FEMA trailer and emergency aid to replace his double-wide with a wrap-around deck and bocce court. Don't worry, he does this every year, Big Muddy don't quit flooding, nor do Federal funds stop flowing, but he won't be back this week (something about proof-of-residence problems or fraud). So, when he asked me, a run-of-the-mill ne'er do well, to write Upfront, I said, "Sure."
"I am the Sheriff"
Giusto. Say it, feel it, "Giusto." Few names conjure respect for elected office like Bernie Giusto; maybe Bernard Kerik, but let's not pick on all the Bernies of the world just yet… Last Friday, the Multnomah County Sheriff told the Oregon Government Ethics Commission that sometimes practice (and position) overrules written policy.
Giusto has been under investigation by the ethics commission for allegedly driving a county vehicle to Seattle with his girlfriend. Never mind the 250 pages of strict guidelines the soon-to-be dethroned Sheriff and staff must follow, Giusto told members of the commission: "The policy is either in effect because I say it is or not in effect because I say it's not, because I am the sheriff."

They don’t care how big tom hanks is. Vatican to Hanks: Get Lost
The Vatican has told Tom Hanks it doesn't want him in church. It's not his religion they have a problem with - it's the movie he's making.
The producers of Hanks' new movie, Angels and Demons, had asked permission to shoot inside two of Rome's historic churches, Santa Maria del Popolo and Santa Maria della Vittoria. Fuhgeddaboudit, said the diocese of Rome.
Angels and Demons is a prequel to the 2006 movie The Da Vinci Code, based on the blockbuster novel of the same name by Dan Brown, which espoused the controversial (at least to orthodox Christians) theory that Jesus had married Mary Magdalene and had children.
Monsignor Marco Fibbi, a diocesan spokesman, told Reuters that the diocese had denied the filmmakers access to the churches because of the movie's subject matter. "It's a film that treats religious issues in a way that contrasts with common religious sentiment," Fibbi said. "Normally we read the script but this time it was not necessary. The name Dan Brown was enough."

New Brass on the Mountain
Three weeks to the day after firing Matt Janney, who served as Mt. Bachelor's president, the ski resort has announced the hiring of Dave Rathbun to take the top position at the mountain.
After what Mt. Bachelor described as a "nationwide search," the result was the hiring of yet another POWDR Corp. (Mt. Bachelor's parent company) employee in Rathbun, who has previously worked as director of marketing, sales, reservations and golf at Killington Resort and Pico mountain, both located in Vermont. Rathbun, who was touted as having more than 20 years of resort experience, will serve as both president and general manager at Bachelor.
POWDR purchased Killington resort as a joint investment with SP Land Co. The pair had plans for a large scale resort development at the base of Killington - not unlike what POWDR has discussed for Mt. Bachelor. However, SP Land backed out of the deal earlier this year over what it said was community opposition, according to the Rutland Herald.

Bo knows guitarsKeeping the Beat Going
BOMP-a-bomp-bomp … bomp-BOMP. If you've ever heard rock-n-roll - whether it was Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley, the Rolling Stones, the Grateful Dead, Bruce Springsteen, U2 or anybody in between - you've heard that beat. It was the creation of Elias Otha Bates, better known to the world as Bo Diddley.
Born in Mississippi and raised in Chicago, he reportedly was inspired to start playing guitar by hearing the great bluesman John Lee Hooker and began his career as a street musician. After several years of doing nightclub gigs he released his first record, "Bo Diddley," in 1955, and it rose to the top spot on the R&B charts.
That song introduced the "Bo Diddley beat," described by Wikipedia as "a rumba-like beat similar to 'hambone,' a style used by street performers who play out the beat by slapping and patting their arms, legs, chest, and cheeks while chanting rhymes." The music scholars say Bo Diddley didn't really invent the beat - that it goes back to West Africa. But what the hell do they know.