Editorial
Posted inOpinion

Our Promise: There Will Never Be a Straight Poop Deficit Here

A gathering of happenings from throughout the week.
Source Weekly

Monday,
Oct. 24
How the mighty have fallen: Libya's transitional government says body of dictator Muammar Qaddafi will be buried in secret grave in desert … Harvest of democracy: Islamist party wins elections in Tunisia, first “Arab Spring” country to hold them …
Tuned out: Netflix stock plunges after company announces it's lost 800,000 US subscribers since it adopted two-tier pricing system … Locked out: White House launches new program to help homeowners avoid foreclosure; critics say it's not enough … Frozen out: New Hampshire campaign staffers of one-time GOP presidential frontrunner Michelle Bachmann quit en masse, say they were treated rudely and not paid … Starved out: Wikileaks says it's out of money because banks will no longer process donations.
Tuesday,
Oct. 25
Cancer, schmancer: Controversial new campaign ad for Republican hopeful Herman Cain shows chief of staff Mark Block puffing cigarette … In spite of (or maybe because of) the ad, Cain tops GOP field in new poll, 4 points ahead of Mitt Romney … Meanwhile Rick Perry, struggling in third place, shakes up staff, hires George W. Bush's old campaign manager Joe Albaugh … Ounce of prevention: Centers for Disease Control recommends boys as well as girls receive human papilloma virus vaccine to prevent cancer … Digging for dirt: Dr. Phil will pay to exhume body of Rebecca Zahau, found dead under strange circumstances in San Diego mansion of billionaire boyfriend in July.

Posted inOpinion

County Commissioners Whychus Gaffe

Deschutes County Commissioners haven’t given ONDA an open and fair process.
Source Weekly

You've got to hand it to Deschutes County Commissioners, at least they're consistent. For years, the county's triumvirate stubbornly refused to throw its collective weight behind a grassroots effort to create a new wilderness area at the BLM's Badlands area east of Bend. They eventually settled on a no-formal opposition position, clearing the way for proponents to take the question to Congress where The Badlands Wilderness Act was ultimately signed into law in 2008, formally creating Deschutes County's first federal wilderness. Despite opponents' fears, the sky hasn't come crashing to the ground, no one has outlawed four wheeling, and the nearby ranching industry hasn't collapsed. To the contrary, the Badlands, by many accounts, is in better shape than ever. Motorized trespassing is down as is illegal dumping and poaching of the ancient juniper forest.
On any given day there are half dozen or more vehicles parked in the trailheads off Highway 20 as locals and tourists alike embark on hikes through the lava-sculpted area.

Posted inOpinion

Knocking the Poop Straight Out of the Park Every Week

A look at the weekly happenings from around the world.
Source Weekly

Monday, Oct. 17
Popular with the home crowd: Poll finds 67 percent of New Yorkers agree with Occupy Wall Street protesters, including even 35 percent of Republicans … Toke on this: Support for legalizing marijuana hits all-time high (pun intended) as Gallup poll shows 50 percent of Americans favor it, up from 46 percent last year … Book now, avoid the rush: Virgin Galactic, space tourism venture of billionaire Virgin Airlines founder Richard Branson, opens spaceport in Las Cruces, NM; tickets for suborbital flight to cost $200,000 per … This is SO wrong: Sesame Street's YouTube channel back on line after somebody hacks it, puts up porn videos … This is SO French: French police official Jean-Christophe Lagarde alleged to have flown prostitutes to NYC for Dominique Strauss-Kahn. What, there weren't enough hookers in New York?

Posted inOpinion

High Noon in the Pumpkin Patch

Terrebonne pumpkin patch may require permit, facing fine.
Source Weekly

For years, Matt Lisignoli's pumpkin patch and corn maze near Terrebonne have been a Halloween-season tradition with Central Oregon kids and their parents. They go there, wander through the maze, pet some farm animals, maybe pick out a future jack-o-lantern or two. A wholesome, non-noisy, non-intrusive good time is had by all.
But now, like Lucy sadistically yanking the football away from Charlie Brown, Deschutes County wants to kill all the fun. It's telling Lisignoli that his operation is a “commercial use” of agricultural land and is threatening him with a $720 fine if he doesn't jump over the requisite legal hurdles to get a permit for such a use.
Those hurdles could turn out to be pretty high. First there are the county fees, which (according to county officials) could run anywhere from about $400 to several thousand dollars. On top of that, as the county explained in a letter to Lisignoli in January, “there may also be building safety and waste disposal requirements related to the use which would not be known without an actual site plan review.”

Posted inOpinion

This Space Occupied By Fresh Straight Poop Weekly

A run down of news events in recent days.
Source Weekly

Monday,
Oct. 10
Winning hearts and minds: United Nations report says prisoners in Afghanistan hung by hands, beaten with cables and have genitals twisted until they pass out … Let the “good times” roll: Research shows US household incomes have fallen more since recession (supposedly) ended than during recession … Getting really bad reviews: Iranian actress Marzieh Vafamehr sentenced to year in jail and 90 lashes for making movie government didn't like … Down to the wire: Amber Miller, 27, runs Chicago Marathon while 39 weeks pregnant, goes into labor, gives birth to 7-pound, 13-ounce baby girl shortly after finishing. “Everybody just kind of stared as I'm running by,” she says.

Posted inOpinion

Occupy Wall Street: The Message Is Clear

Occupy protests continue and for that, demonstrators deserve our thanks.
Source Weekly

“There's something happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear,” Buffalo Springfield sang in 1967. Actually it was pretty clear what was happening back then: Hundreds of thousands of Americans were demanding an end to the Vietnam War.
For over a month now, hundreds of thousands of people have been taking part in the Occupy Wall Street movement. Starting in New York, the protests have spread across the United States and the world. There's even an Occupy Bend event, with demonstrators camping in a vacant lot on (where else?) Wall Street.
Compared to the Vietnam-era protesters, the Occupy Wall Streeters are a strangely mixed ideological bag. Their gripes are about everything from home foreclosures to the Federal Reserve to the high cost of gasoline to the alleged cover-up of the real story behind 9/11.
Critics of Occupy Wall Street – mostly Wall Street's Masters of the Universe themselves and their shills in politics and the media – try to use this lack of a single sharp focus to discredit the movement. “It's just a ragtag mob of lazy socialist communist hippie trustafarians with too much time on their hands and no idea what they really want,” their rap goes.

Posted inOpinion

Are You Ready for Some Straight Poop? We've Got It!

Source Weekly

Monday, Oct. 3
Are you ready for some hatred? ESPN scrubs Hank Williams Jr.'s “Are you ready for some football?” song from Monday Night Football after Williams, on Faux Noise, compares President Obama to Hitler. Williams claims he was “misunderstood” … Courtroom drama: Tearful University of Washington student Amanda Knox goes free after Italian court overturns conviction for killing Meredith Kercher in 2007 … You don't wanna go there: Emails show White House officials last year warned Obama not to visit Solyndra, the California energy company that went belly-up after collecting half a billion in federal loans … It's good to be queen: Britain's The Guardian newspaper reports Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi once offered to step down and become figurehead leader “like the queen of England.” Always thought he'd look nice in a tiara.

Posted inOpinion

“Managing” Wolves to Extinction

Source Weekly

When wild wolves started returning to Oregon after an absence of more than 60 years, the Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife developed something it calls its “Wolf Conservation and Management Plan.” Judging by the results so far, maybe ODFW should rename it the “Wolf Eradication Plan.”
Just a year ago, there were 21 gray wolves in three packs living in the forests of remote northeastern Oregon. Now, mostly because of poaching and the killing of wolves by ODFW and by ranchers with ODFW permits, that number is down to 14 – and ODFW wants to cut it to 12.

Posted inOpinion

Taking the Wraps Off Campaign Money

Source Weekly

In its abominable ruling in the Citizens United case last year, the US Supreme Court decreed that corporations have the same free-speech rights as actual flesh-and-blood people. Short of a constitutional amendment, there probably isn't anything we can do about that.
But at least government can try to make sure that real citizens know which candidates and causes corporate “citizens” are giving their money to. Oregon Treasury Secretary Ted Wheeler is working to make that happen.
Wheeler sent a letter last week to the US Securities and Exchange Commission asking it to make publicly traded corporations disclose their campaign contributions. Many already do it voluntarily – including 60 of the firms on Standard & Poor's Top 100 list – but a substantial number don't.

Posted inOpinion

Our Fresh Straight Poop Comes With No Monthly Fees

Source Weekly

Monday, Sept. 26
This is turning into a routine: Senate approves deal to avert government shutdown Friday; Democrats and Republicans both claim victory … Nyaa, nyaa, can't touch me: Dominique Strauss-Kahn claims former status as chief of International Monetary Fund gives him diplomatic immunity against civil lawsuit by NYC hotel maid who says he raped her … Worth it to shut him up: Charlie Sheen settles suit against “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre and Warner Brothers for reported $25 million … No PDAs on SWA: Musician/actress Leisha Hailey says she was kicked off Southwest Airlines flight for kissing her girlfriend, urges gays to boycott Southwest … Guess they aren't that unhealthy: Arch West, former Frito-Lay exec credited with creating Doritos in 1961, dies at age 97.

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