Editorial

Monday, Feb. 21
Qaddafi on the brink: Regime of dictator Muammar Qaddafi looking shaky as he and aides hunker in presidential palace; foreign oil companies bail out of Libya; deadly attacks against protesters continue … Take that, birthers: Former Arkansas governor and sometime presidential aspirant Mike Huckabee, appearing on ABC's “Good Morning America,” says claims that President Obama wasn't born in the US are “nonsense.” Guess he can write off the loony vote … Where are they now? Former Idaho Sen. Larry Craig (he of the wide men's room stance) is lobbying for a hunters' group that wants to take endangered species protection away from wolves… Former Olympic figure skater and alleged Nancy Kerrigan-whacker Tonya Harding gave birth to a healthy baby boy over the weekend, a friend of the family reveals … And now, Monday's important news: Justin Bieber gets a haircut and Portland firefighters rescue a puppy stuck in a drainpipe.

Monday, Feb. 14
The Middle East ablaze: Iranian government uses force to quell protests … Pluto's replacement? Two scientists at the University of Louisiana think they've found a ninth planet in our solar system that's four times bigger than Jupiter. Maybe they'll call it “Goofy” … Bieber Fever! In an apparent act of revenge after their downy-cheeked demigod was upset by jazz bassist-singer-composer Esperanza Spalding for “Best New Artist” at the Grammies, Justin Bieber fans hack Spalding's Wikipedia page. Nasty exchanges between Bieberites and anti-Bieberites go on for 13 minutes before Wikipedia editors lock the page … Fevered Beavers! After Oregon State University says no, students raise $4,000 on their own to pay for self-styled feminist pornographer Tristan Taormino to speak on “Claiming Your Sexual Power”… Please sir, may I have another: President Obama unveils budget that cuts programs for middle-class and poor people. Republicans (big surprise here) say it doesn't cut deep enough.
Tuesday, Feb. 15
Mini-Snowpocalypse! Sneaky snowstorm dumps a foot or so of concrete-like glop on Bend; downed trees and power outages ensue … Storm dusts higher elevations of Portland; panic ensues … Who could have guessed: Jailed Ponzi schemer Bernie Madoff, in first prison interview, says banks and investors he worked with “had to know” his activities were not exactly kosher. “But the attitude was sort of, 'If you're doing something wrong, we don't want to know'” … Who could have guessed, cont.: Rafid Ahnmed Alwan al-Janabi, code name “Curveball,” admits he made up stories about scary weapons of mass destruction that the Bush administration used to justify invading Iraq … Another Middle East flare-up: Thousands swarm into streets of Bahrain to

Monday, Feb. 7
Bloody Cairo: At least 297 people have been killed in Egypt's anti-government uprising, according to Human Rights Watch … Must've been a slow news day: Glenn Beck rips into Super Bowl players for not standing with their hands over their hearts when Christina Aguilera sang the National Anthem. This reporter had both hands over his ears … More scary Mayan Calendar stuff: Reported shark attacks worldwide were up 25% in 2010; shark expert calls it “hugely unusual” … Getting off easy: Prosecutors say no charges will be filed against Lindsay Lohan for allegedly swiping a $2,500 necklace from a jewelry store.

Monday,
Jan. 31
Second Amendment fun: Utah Legislature considering a bill to make the Browning M1911 handgun the official state firearm. “It’s an implement of freedom that has defended America for 100 years,” said the bill's sponsor, Rep. Carl Wimmer. “This firearm is Utah” … Unconscious irony: Former US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, a chief architect of the Iraq war and supporter of torture, wins “Defender of the Constitution Award” from Conservative Political Action Conference. Must be a different Constitution than the one I know … Family squabbles: Barbara Bush, daughter of ex-President George W. Bush, backs gay marriage initiative in New York; her dad supports an anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment … Didn't get the memo: TeleSource Center, a telemarketing outfit, says it's moving to new offices in Bend to accommodate its growth. Somebody forgot to tell them they were supposed to leave Oregon after Measures 66 and 67 passed.

Monday,
Jan. 24Terrorism far and near: Terrorist blast rips main Moscow airport; 35 reported killed, 168 injured … Anti-government fanatics Bruce Turnidge and son Joshua are formally sentenced to death for 2008 bank bombing in Woodburn, OR that killed two police officers and maimed a third. Bruce Turnidge says prosecution is trying to stifle his “freedom of speech” … Guess the calisthenics worked: Fitness pioneer Jack LaLanne, whose popular TV show from the early 1950s to mid-1980s first made it fashionable to sweat, dies at 96 … Say what? Green Bay Packers Safety Charles Woodson tells President Obama – who said he would go to the Super Bowl if his beloved Chicago Bears were in it – that if Obama “don’t want to come watch us at the Super Bowl, guess what? We’re going to see him.” Wonder how the Secret Service will interpret that.

Tuesday, Jan. 25Say what again? President Obama delivers State of the Union address, says this is America's new “Sputnik moment.” Millions of Americans born after 1960 race to Wikipedia to look up “Sputnik” … Tea Party sweetheart Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) delivers her own rebuttal to the SOTU, replete with gaffes and miscues, including not knowing which camera to look at … Ho-hum: Office of Special Counsel reports George W. Bush administration flagrantly broke federal election laws, using tax dollars to fund political activities. Silence from the punditocracy is deafening … Whacko Watch: Cindy Jacobs, a rising star among right-wing evangelicals, posts video blaming mass bird and fish deaths on Congress's repeal of “Don't Ask, Don't Tell.”