Editorial

Dirty Dancing Too Much For Portland Teachers
Students were getting a little too close for comfort at a Portland High School, causing teachers to cancel the school's winter formal. Cleveland High School in Southeast Portland has cancelled the dance due to the new style of dance known as “grinding.” Obviously a little movie from 1987 known as Dirty Dancing hasn't been in the TBS heavy rotation lately.

100 Years in Space?
NASA might have some job openings in about 100 years and the perks look pretty cool. You get to travel millions of miles into space and land on another planet – probably Mars – where you'll help colonize a new planet in the name of human beings. Oh, but there's a drawback. You never get to come back. And if you conceive a child while en route or perhaps living on the Red Planet, that kid probably won't set foot on Earth either.

Apple ReInvents The World
If you listened closely last Wednesday, it was possible to hear the simultaneous blowing of minds of the entire city of Cupertino, Calif., when Steve Jobs gave his keynote address to introduce the latest humanity- changing updates to Apple products. As Jobs' speech was streamed worldwide to MacBooks, iPads, iPods and iPhones, you could also hear teenagers in basements everywhere halting their Social Network – inspired hacking attempts because Jobs announced that the new MacBook Air has two USB ports.

Bend Goes Crazy
Was there a full moon we missed, or did someone slip some crazy pills into the water supply? Because for some reason, a bunch of people went nuts last weekend. First off, a pretty epic bar brawl took place when two women got in a fight at Boondocks Bar and Grill. KTVZ reports that Joanna Alicia Rivera-Ramirez struck Casey Adelle Strait in the head with a bottle. To avenge his girlfriend's injury, Strait's boyfriend hit another dude in the face with a glass. Then he punched a different woman in the face. After this, fights broke out inside and outside the bar and an unrelated person, Christopher Dubois, decided, for some reason, to jump into the driver's seat of an OSP patrol car. He was taken to jail, where he delivered one of the funniest mug shots we've seen in a while.

Wolves and The Wild, Wild East
Well it was only a matter of time. Like a right-wing nut job who actually believes all vitriol that is dished up on a.m. radio and decides to do something about it with a gun in hand or a bomb in the trunk, some coward slunk into the woods of Eastern Oregon, put a rifle to his shoulder and illegally shot a gray wolf, one of the less than 20 that have been documented in the state of Oregon since the federal wolf recovery plan was launched two decades ago. Federal wildlife agents reportedly found the slain wolf, a young male member of the Wenaha pack that had only recently been fitted with a radio collar, on Sept. 30 in a remote area of the Umatilla National Forest. News of the find leaked out late last week when federal wildlife officials confirmed the find to the Associated Press. Conservation Organizations were quick to condemn the shooting, which comes on the heels of a contentious summer for wolf politics in Oregon where several livestock killings prompted state officials to issue kill permits for a pair of wolves believed responsible.