You have the hat, and the t-shirt and the fake New England accent.
Congratulations. You're a phony baloney Boston Red Sox fan and Left
Field probably scowled at you last weekend up in Seattle where we set
up camp for the weekend series against the Mariners.
Now, let's
get one thing straight: Red Sox fans are endlessly better than Yankees
fans. And, Red Sox fans have a sort of blue-collar, beer-drinking
folksiness about them that's easy to like. But it's the bandwagon Red
Sox fans that bought a cap when Johnny Damon and Manny Ramirez (now a
Yankee and a drug user, respectively) led the magical team of 2004 to
victory and now deem it necessary to root against their home team every
time the Red Sox come to town.
By Left Field's estimate, about
one in four Safeco Field seats were occupied by Red Sox fans - who
gladly chanted "Let's go Red Sox" ad nausea, which in a visiting
ballpark is the equivalent to walking over to your neighbor's home for
the express purpose of taking a paint-peeling dump. There are some
things you just don't do away from home.

