Awakening Your Inner Hero

I am sitting in Longmont, Colorado, looking out at the entrancing cumulus clouds and five bright red tulips in the garden. It is the morning before Passover, one of the most celebrated holidays of our Jewish tradition. Wendy and I are staying at the home of our daughter Jennie and son-in-law, Louie, on the edge of Golden Ponds, a majestic bird sanctuary only a few steps outside their back door.

We don’t use the description “in-laws” in our family. Many years ago, we gathered in a circle to let the married partners of our three children know that we are all connected by way more than the law. We told them we are connected in spirit. What does that mean? The meaning, from my point of view, transcends any verbal description. That’s my answer for now.

Tonight, there will be a gathering of 35 celebrators, ages ranging from 77 years to the youngest, a sweet three-year-old. Some of our gatherers are from a Jewish background and some, not. Our union, a beautiful multicultural group, includes Black, White, Asian and Latino people. Many have been meeting for 14 years. All Passover gatherings are to remember three things: First, we were once enslaved in Egypt. Second, after 40 challenging years making our way through the desert, we finally arrived in the Promised Land. Third, this story from enslavement to freedom is each of our personal stories today, too. More on that later.

Now, stop!

Take a breath, please.

You may appreciate this ancient Biblical story.

You may not.

It may, in this time of brutality in the Middle East, trigger hatred, outrage, grief and hopelessness.

Some people have struggled to attend Seders this year. They are too angry, too hurt, too sad and too confused. As I write, horrors are happening. How can we sit in a circle to celebrate anything? Our joy is darkened by so many other emotions.

The Jewish world is not unified in what is happening in Gaza. Our circle tonight will not be unified in our opinions, either.

Then what are we even celebrating?

Should we skip this one and wait till better times?

That takes us back to the title: What Does “We” Really Mean?

I am reading a very informative book entitled “10 Really Dumb Mistakes that Very Smart Couples Make,” a book about the “marital we” and how we can mess it up so easily. I want to merge this learning from the “marital we” to the “communal we,” and then into the “international we.”

I may be dreaming, but if we don’t dream…then what?

Hold on tight:

When I am married to you, I am me and you are you.

One of my dumbest mistakes is that I want you to think just like I think and if you don’t, you’re wrong — and I am right. But truly, how can I intelligently expect you to think the way I do?

Back to our Passover celebration tonight.

We will gather to celebrate our escape from slavery and our entry into the Promised Land. Every one of us enslaves ourselves in sooo many different ways. One of our main jobs in life is to free ourselves — daily.

Our fears imprison us.

Our judgments imprison us.

Our insufficient effort imprisons us.

Our unwillingness to see how beautiful we are imprisons us.

Our unwillingness to acknowledge and let go of our selfishness imprisons us.

Our unwillingness to forgive imprisons us.

Our unwillingness to apologize imprisons us.

Our unwillingness to compromise imprisons us.

Our unwillingness to truly listen . . .

The gathering tonight is for all of us everywhere.

To celebrate, to remember, to recommit ourselves to freedom…and also to grieve.

Whatever you can do to build a bridge, do it.