Last month’s message was titled We Are All One.
Simply said, we need each other so much more than we could ever imagine. This understanding of life puts peace in my head and my heart. Even if you and I disagree on many things, you and I might very well need one another sometime…soon. I might need the engineer who drives the train that blasts its horn at two o’clock every morning. I need all my orthopedic surgeons, all the nurses and their assistants, each of the hospital custodians and each of the hospital administrators whom I never have and probably never will meet. I just had my second hip replacement four days ago. And I have immense gratitude for and needed every single person, obviously some more directly than others.
We Are All One. I love it, and when I consciously hold this reality in my heart and my mind, I become a better person. More appreciative, kinder, connected, joyful and dedicated to fulfill my soul’s ultimate purpose: to remind each of us how invaluable our infinite connections are.
As interdependent as we clearly are, way too often we do not notice or remotely acknowledge our immeasurable neediness. Some of us even mistakenly say to ourselves or to others:
“I AM INDEPENDENT!”
That is so untrue!
-most of our less productive human conditions. Some include: selfishness, I-am-right-you-are-wrong mentality, loneliness, limited joyfulness, being more judgmental than thankful, prone to addictions of every kind. The biggest one is our paralyzing avoidance of vulnerability. We are NOT independent even when we might believe we are! Maybe even especially when we believe we are.
And what is the primary source of our all-too-common, self-limiting behaviors?
FEAR!
We all have it.
You, me, every animal that ever lived. Even plants in their own “planty” ways express fear. Plants have complex survival strategies that can detect danger and respond chemically, and even spread the word to their veggie buddies. Squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits, deer and at least 20 species of birds visit our yard throughout the year. Each and every one is on edge and looking out for danger a huge percentage of their stay.
WOW!
No fear, no life. Caution keeps us alive.
We sure are all in this life together!
Each one of us is filled with needs, concerns and fears of all kinds. Some are the same as others, and many are quite different. And because we are often too shy, too untrained or too afraid to ask for what we need or want (because we would feel vulnerable), we have all developed default patterns. Some are anxieties, loneliness, feeling abandoned, “we don’t have enough, I’m not good enough” thoughts.
COURAGE IS THE KEY INGREDIENT TO COMBAT OUR DAILY FEARS!
Well, courage and reliance on our Higher Power.
Let me tell you a short story I have blessedly been living the past few months.
After writing my recent column in the Source, I received an email from a local reader. He wanted to share his appreciation for my words. It was, and continues to be, a memorable connection. We learned quickly that we have followed remarkably similar pathways in our personal and professional lives. His name is Thomson Barton, and he has consulted with businesses around the world. Both he and I have worked with high-level athletes and teams.
We’re both pretty old fellas–but are doing our best not to act like it.
Thomy’s main focus is to help us recognize and move through our self-limiting fears, very much like I do in my teambuilding programs. His book, “Please Lie to Me,” is a down-to-earth, elevating understanding of the life-dampening defensive patterns we fall into when we feel insecure, anxious or threatened.
Fight, flight and freeze are the main categories of these patterns.
Thomy teaches skills that allow our authentic self to direct our lives rather than our self-limiting, fear-based self.
WHOOPEEE!
Much, much more on this topic as my Inner Hero messages, along with Thomy’s life-elevating wisdoms, keep rolling on.
– Burt Gershater is a counselor, leadership trainer, speaker and writer. He can be reached at info@burtgershater.com
This article appears in the Source December 4, 2025.
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