One unfortunate side effect of alcohol is that normally calm and often times bland people will become uncharacteristically headstrong, violent, and/or maniacal. This weekend seemed to bring out the most unusual in people. On Saturday, two guys dropped by in good spirits, laughing and smiling as they both ordered a beer. About twenty minutes later we found one guy with the other one guy’s hands around his neck. They were just standing there perfectly calm, not talking in raised voices, not trying to punch or fight one another. When we asked if everything was o.k. the guy being strangled cordially replied no, as if we had asked him if he liked his coffee with cream and sugar.
On Friday, a girl I know who was always very quiet and reserved came
in to release a bout of pent up energy. Usually, she doesn’t drink and
just sits at the bar and has macaroni and cheese as she talks to her
friends about things like what type of Kleenex is the softest or if you
could really teach a cat to use a toilet. However, I came to find that
one Pacifico can magically turn her into a gawky obscenity shouting
Brittany Spears want-to-be. She spent the rest of the night showing off
her amateur stripper moves which included her hanging her pinky barely
out of her mouth the whole night and slapping her right ass cheek as
she bent over and wiggled her butt like an overexcited puppy.
But
what might just take the cake is when one of Bend’s most beautiful
women who is always very put together and perfectly coifed decided on
her way out the door to sucker punch our door man. And then as he was
on the phone with the police and telling the general manager what had
happened, she ran back to also sucker punch the GM. So if you are one
of those people who turn from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde at even the whiff
of a margarita, well then maybe drinking is just not for you.
Sucker Punch
Cut
the top 1/4 off of a lime. Hollow it out with a grapefruit spoon. Fill
with 1.5 ounces of tequila and .5 ounces of cointreau. Take the shot
and squeeze the lime as you are drinking. Grab the fruit pulp and when
your best friend isn’t looking, huck it in his face.
This article appears in Mar 26 – Apr 1, 2009.
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