On Stage: Guns N' Poses

You’re in the jungle, baby. I have a score to settle with Guns N’ Roses, which
really has nothing to do with Appetite for Deception, an Oregon band
playing Boondocks on June 18 that looks, sounds and probably drinks
bourbon like the actual band.

The real Guns N’ Roses, or at least
the band that Axl Rose likes to call Guns N’ Roses, ruined a long list
of bets and/or claims I have made over the years with a number of
friends, acquaintances and ne’er-do-wells. You see, I’ve been using the
phrase “When Guns N’ Roses finally release Chinese Democracy” in place
of the common adage “when pigs fly” for about nine years now. It seemed
like a safe bet as Axl had holed himself up in some clandestine studio
emerging only to make some zany threat to whoever may have leaked an
alleged Democracy song. Then, the damn thing finally came out, forcing
Dr. Pepper to give away a free soft drink to everyone in America
(except for Slash) and me to admit that, in no particular order: I will
someday buy a Creed album, I’ll support the removal of the designated
hitter and that actual Chinese democracy will occur.

That effing album turned my world upside down.

But again, Appetite for Deception really has nothing to do with Chinese Democracy, sticking mainly to the standards with lead singer Axl M. providing surprisingly dead-on Rose-ian vocals. Anyone who’s read Chuck Klosterman’s Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs knows that the bar has been set high for GNR tribute acts, judging from the author’s tour with a booze-swilling, fist-fighting, pick-up truck touring tribute. But Appetite for Deception really does sound like GNR, which is the point of a tribute act, so mission accomplished. They also look pretty ’89 as well. Bonus points.

The band’s song list doesn’t include a single cut from Chinese Democracy, but you can bet your bandana I’ll be shouting out a request for the title track, because if that album is going to exist, I want to get my money’s worth.

Appetite For Deception
8pm Thursday, June 18. Boondocks Bar and Grill. 70 NW Newport Ave.
$10. 21 and up.

This article appears in Jun 11-17, 2009.