Certified Fresh Straight Poop: It's Good For You | The Source Weekly - Bend, Oregon

Certified Fresh Straight Poop: It's Good For You

July 18
Stranger and stranger: John Hoare, former reporter who first blew the whistle on phone-hacking by Rupert Murdoch's News of the World, found dead in his apartment ... John Yates, assistant commissioner of Scotland Yard, quits, following lead of top cop Sir Paul Stephenson ... Pranksters hack website of Murdoch's The Sun tabloid, post story saying Murdoch found dead ... Directors of News Corp. wondering if it's time for Murdoch to go ... That explains a lot: Former neo-Nazi pre-teen pop singers Lynx and Lamb Gaede, now 19, say they now embrace diversity. "My sister and I were home-schooled," explains Lynx ... Nothing can explain this: Lionsgate producing new sitcom called "Anger Management" starring Charlie Sheen as a psychotherapist. The irony is almost painful.

Tuesday, July 19

Slapstick comedy: Rupert Murdoch hit with cream pie as he and son James testify before Parliament; Murdoch's wife Wendi slugs pie-thrower ... Slapstick tragedy: President Obama endorses debt ceiling plan produced by bipartisan "Gang of Six" senators ... House Republicans pass "cut, cap and balance" plan, likely to be DOA in Senate ... No relief in sight: Brutal heat wave continues in nation's midsection; death toll at least 13 ... Relief in sight: So many gay New York couples want to be married Sunday (first day of legal same-sex marriage) that city's handing out licenses by lottery ... Oopsie: Justice Department finds holes in case against Bruce Ivins, alleged anthrax letter bomber. He killed himself in 2008.
Wednesday, July 20
Pants on fire: Britain's The Guardian newspaper accuses James Murdoch of misleading Parliament about hush money paid to hacking victim ... Everybody must get hacked: Taliban claims somebody hacked its phones and website. The Taliban has a website? ... Everybody must get sued: 75 former players sue NFL for allegedly concealing risks of concussions. We always kind of suspected they weren't good for you ... "American Idol" creator Simon Fuller sues Fox, claiming he should get paid for upcoming Simon Cowell show "The X Factor." Hard to keep those Simons straight sometimes ... Wrist slap: Federal Reserve hits Wells Fargo with record $85 million fine for steering home buyers into risky mortgages ... Unusual candor: Former Harvard President Larry Summers says Winklevoss twins, who complained to him about Mark Zuckerberg allegedly stealing their idea for Facebook, were assholes. Yes, he really did use that word.
Thursday, July 21
Not just a Murdoch thing: Lawyers for actor Hugh Grant and ex-girlfriend Jemima Khan hint other papers besides News of the World hired investigator to spy on their private lives ... Some guys just can't get a break: Federal Elections Commission says former Sen. John Edwards has to pay back $2 million in federal matching funds from failed 2008 presidential campaign ... No rest for the wicked: Bones of Hitler henchman Rudolph Hess ordered exhumed, burned and scattered over lake. Officials say his grave was becoming shrine for neo-Nazi pilgrims ... No, we are NOT assholes: Winklevoss twins send open letter to Harvard President Drew Faust defending selves, accusing Larry Summers of "unprecedented betrayal of the unique relationship between student and teacher."
Friday, July 22
Another face of terror: Massive bomb in Oslo, Norway and shooting attack at kids' summer camp kill 76; perp is Anders Behring Breivik, 32, a right-wing, anti-Muslim Christian fundamentalist ... Jilted again: House Speaker John Boehner declares talks with White House over debt ceiling dead; angry President Obama complains he's "been left at the altar now a couple of times" ... Some 'splaining to do: British Prime Minister David Cameron wants James Murdoch called back to answer charges he misled Parliament ... No more closet: Obama certifies repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, clearing way for gays to serve openly in military ... It's complicated: Brigitte Guillemette, second wife of Dominique Strauss-Kahn, wants to sue her friend Anne Mansouret, mother of Tristane Banon, who claims DSK tried to rape her, for saying she (the mother) had sex with DSK. Hey, they're French.
Saturday, July 23
We could see this coming: Singer Amy Winehouse found dead of overdose in London home. She shoulda said "yes, yes, yes" ... We also could see this coming: Bipartisan congressional panel finds US has pissed away $34 billion on private-contractor services in Iraq and Afghanistan ... Could kinda see this coming too: Teenager accuses Oregon's Rep. David Wu, 56, of making unwanted sexual advances toward her last Thanksgiving ... Holy warrior: Norway terrorist Anders Breivik posted 1,500-word manifesto on Web before attacks calling for Christian war to defend Europe against Muslim domination ... At least one public figure still has good ratings: Poll finds 52 percent of Americans approve of God's performance. Only 50 percent approve of his/her/its handling of natural disasters, though.
Sunday, July 24
Blowing it: White House and Congressional Republicans fail to reach debt ceiling agreement before opening of Asian stock markets Monday morning; Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and House Speaker John Boehner prepare to offer rival plans ... Man with a mission: Lawyer for Norway terrorist Anders Breivik says Breivik thinks his actions were "atrocious" but necessary to "force through a revolution." "He wished to attack society and the structure of society," lawyer says ... Legal at last: Hundreds of gay couples marry in New York State ... Score one for the old dudes: Cadel Evans, 34, captures Tour de France, becoming first Australian winner and oldest since WWII.

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