I have been following the blog at the end of the ‘Road to Nowhere’ story, published in April. The comments are great, and I came up with a little ditty that sums up the ‘potholes’ (as Aussie put it) at the heart of ODOT.
If Peter Pothole picked a peck of Parkway problems, how many problems could Peter Pothole pick?
Perhaps we should painstakingly ponder this perplexing puzzle. We know our autos pitch and popple precariously as we pass along the patched Parkway pavement. The patch is spattered with puckers and pudding stones, which prove to be problematic. When it rains, we fear plunging precipitately into puddles and pothole ponds.
We pay profusely–so why is our Parkway so primitive?
Possible because ODOT prefers to postulate and pretend their position is to produce passable pathways! They prodigal-ize precious funds and are impervious to probes of their processes. We are privy to the practices of ODOT picking the public’s pockets to pad the pockets of their pals.
Perhaps we push to punish and prosecute these participants? Perform a polygraph–send them to the pokey? Or parade the pathetic parasites to the pillory?
We must pressure the politicians to put a stop to this pork-barreling!
The PR puppets prevaricate and provide propaganda to protect their pals who are prospering by the precise plethora of problems Mr. Perry is prying into. Peter Pothole on Mr. Perry’s claims, “That’s preposterous! We are prideful of our policies and procedures!”
Is he positive? Or is this another pompous proposition the pesky PR people prefer we pursue? Their paltering press releases pert’ near perturb the public! Your pontificating is poppycock! The proof is in the pudding. THE PARKWAY IS PATHETIC!
Your pointing to Mr. Perry as a pest makes you appear pugnacious. Please don’t pule. Our preference is for ODOT to be punctilious; to provide peace of mind–proof that you are in the pursuit of premium pavement.
Poor Peter Pothole! You’ve become the protagonist popinjay in a play of perplexing proportions, putting you in quite a predicament.
Call me a pessimist, but I predict ODOT’s priority is to continue to pilfer public funds, and prey upon our pathetic pocketbooks. I don’t mean to push the panic button, but the public is in peril. No pun intended, we must protest! And push for positive proof that ODOT’s pursuits are pure and professional!
Anonymous
This article appears in Jun 12-18, 2008.
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Thanks for the chuckle, Anonymous!
For those of you new to the ODOT “spectacle”, you can access the original article by clicking on the “news” icon, then clicking on “local news” and scrolling down to April 9, 2008 “Road to Nowhere”. There is quite the running discussion on ODOT’s questionable practices.
Also recently posted on that blog is information for those of you who have asked about contacting authorities for protection.
Purely Prescient! Presumably, ODOT’s post pubescent pedantic party pooper pontificators prefer pesky potholes to peacefully precise permanent parkways.
Bravo!! Pure Perfection! ODOT your promptness in answering this persnickety predicament is paralyzing!
Peter Pothole has so much damage control to do that he is stuck on repeat for lack of any real honest answers.
I’m not nearly as clever as these other folks at “p”utting snapply phrases together, but I am “p”lenty “p”-d off at the condition of our roads and how “p”oorly they are lasting. I just tuned in and read all the blogs from the other article (“Road to Nowhere…”) and if what these ODOT employees are saying is true (failing materials, favoritism, unethical hiring tactics, threats on whistlblowers, etc.) there needs to be a MAJOR shakedown including DISMISSAL of these shady managers–“P”RONTO!
If ODOT is looking for a spokesperson, they ought hire the Peter Pothole poet. Perhaps he’ll PR for pennies!