Amy Alkon
Posted inCulture

Putting The Removes On Someone & Hello. Is It Me You’re Cooking For?

We’re driven by psychological adaptations that are sometimes poorly matched with our modern world
Amy Alkon

I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I’m very honest and vulnerable in it, and readers feel super-connected to me because of it. Most just briefly thank me for how it changed their life, etc. However, a few have really latched on to me via social media. I respond to their first message, and […]

Posted inCulture

Girl-On-Girl Inaction & For Whom The Cell Tolls

It’s understandably depressing if the only time there’s heavy breathing in the bedroom is when you’re re-enacting WrestleMania XXV
Amy Alkon

I hate to be trite, but my wife and I are experiencing “lesbian bed death.” We’ve been happily married for three years. I’m not sure why we’re not having sex. Sure, we’re both busy, but it’s more a question of just not ever feeling the urge. I know sex is important for a relationship, and […]

Posted inCulture

A Brief History of Tame and Darth Vaper

Reputation is essentially our social report card—other’s evaluation of the sort of person we are
Amy Alkon

I’m a 45-year-old single guy seeking a long-term relationship. My problem is that when I’m interacting with a woman I’m attracted to, my ability to read whether she’s interested in me goes out the window. I suspect I’ve missed out on some great women because I couldn’t read their signals quickly enough. —Disappointed Where you […]

Posted inCulture

Backbone To The Future

Having a middlin’-bucks job instead of a megabucks one probably wasn’t the root of your mate retention issues.
Amy Alkon

I’m a man in my 60s. Looking back on my romantic life, I was always the guy women spent time with when their husband or boyfriend wasn’t paying attention to them or while they waited for the right guy (status, power, money) to show up. I’m good-looking, but I realize from reading you that I […]

Posted inCulture

Hipster Replacement and The Customer is Always Frightened

As a 57-year-old woman, you’re probably as well-paired with the average 22-year-old as you are with the average head of lettuce or desk lamp.
Amy Alkon

I’m a 57-year-old lesbian, and I’m only attracted to much younger women (very early 20s). We’re obviously in very different places in our lives, and these “relationships” don’t last very long. I also get a lot of grief from my friends. I can’t change whom I’m attracted to, but I would like a long-term relationship. […]

Posted inCulture

Satin Worshipper/Wall of Me

Our emotions are our first responders, and those still driving us today are often a mismatch with our modern world.
Amy Alkon

My parents said they’d give my fiance and me money for a wedding or for a down payment on a home. They aren’t wealthy, so my fiance and I would have to fund about half of the wedding, or possibly more. He doesn’t care about a big wedding, and I agree that it would be […]

Posted inCulture

Flee-Bitten and Shudder Speed

When a guy just cuts you off like a tree limb, it’s tempting to come up with ego-cushioning explanations
Amy Alkon

For three months, things were going really well with this man I was dating. He’d introduced me to his daughter. We’d even planned a trip together. And then he just disappeared. I eventually texted him to find out what happened, but he simply texted back, “Really busy, all good.” This isn’t the first time this […]

Posted inCulture

Remaining Chased Pedal To The Settle

After you’ve had your heart broken, it’s tempting to opt for romantic safety
Amy Alkon

I have a history of terrible relationships that end in awful heartbreak. The advice I keep getting is to date down — get together with a man who is less attractive than I am and who likes me a little more than I like him. I was kind of into the idea of equality on […]

Posted inCulture

Whim Chill Factor & Full Meddle Jackie

Men can experience a sort of temporary amnesia in the moment
Amy Alkon

A guy I know through mutual friends finally asked for my number, claiming he’d like to see more of me. I was elated, but he never called. After a month, I gave up hope, feeling puzzled and, honestly, kind of hurt. Why do men get your number if they’re never going to call or text? […]

Posted inCulture

Waity Issues and Crime Of Compassion

Putting things off won’t help
Amy Alkon

I’m a married gay woman. Whenever I ask my wife to discuss some problem in our relationship, she’ll say, “Can we talk about this tomorrow” (or “later”)? Of course, there’s never a “tomorrow.” I end up feeling resentful, and this makes even a minor issue turn into a big deal. Help. —Postponed Putting things off […]

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