MONDAY 13 The early bird gets the worm—and while many celebrities are still snug and warm in their beds, Kanye West is out in the world, beating down 18-year-olds, and making the job for gossip columnists very easy indeed. TMZ reported that Kanye, perhaps justifiably, attacked a foul-mouthed teen today—for saying the n-word to Kim […]
One Day at a Time
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 6 Polar Vortex? We don’t even know ‘er vortex! This joke was especially unfunny to residents of the Northern Plains and Midwest today where—thanks to band of Arctic air sneaking down from the North Pole—temperatures dropped to 18 degrees below zero in Madison, Wisconsin, and 23 degrees below in Fargo, North Dakota. Plus, according […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 30 Previously in One Day at a Time…awkwardly aging douchebag Justin Bieber (winner of our annual “Absolute Worst Person in the World Ever” sweepstakes) announced to the world in a radio interview that he was retiring from the music biz. YESSSSSSS. Naturally, sources close to his terrified reps claims Das Biebs was simply making […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 9 Just when you think Lindsay Lohan is clawing her way out of the gossip rags—Paris Hilton’s family just keeps pulling her back in! Remember the halcyon days of 2006 when every young starlet was climbing out of limos sans underpants, and Paris’ pal/douchehole Brandon Davis infamously called LiLo “firecrotch”? (Good times. Good times.) […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 25 Happy birthday, Miley Cyrus: You’ve been ROBBED. Readers of One Day at a Time will undoubtedly remember last week’s retelling of Miley’s epic birthday party, which included twerking strippers, the Lorax, and reportedly a teepee (oooh, how multicultural). Unfortunately, along with her numerous gifts, she also received a good, old-fashioned robbery. A thief […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 2 Soooo… how are things going financially for you? A bit tight this year? Well, you’re not the only ones! So many are struggling to make ends meet—especially when it comes to holiday spending. Except of course, the modern day version of the Gorgons, the Kardashian family who spent a whopping $250,000 on their […]
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MONDAY 18 Formerly adorable pop star turned major-league douche Justin Bieber has brought his international reign of terror back to his poor, beleaguered neighborhood. On Friday, Das Biebs threw a loud, all-night rager at his Calabasas, California mansion—inviting approximately 100 guests that reportedly included such celebs as the multi-named Snoop Lion, boxer Floyd Mayweather, “woman […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 11 Okay, we’ll admit it…we now can appreciate and love buck-toothed hillbilly Miley Cyrus. Sure, we’ve had our differences of opinion in the past… remember when she tried to convince us she had been smoking salvia? Oh girl, please. And while she may not yet be the perfect feminist dreamboat, we’ve been gazing at […]
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MONDAY 4 Kids…who needs ’em? However, it’s come to our attention that some people actually enjoy parenting…even if they’re not very good at it. AT ALL. Case in point: The increasingly tangled trio of Charlie Sheen, and his ex-wives Denise Richards, and Brooke Mueller. Denise shocked the world today by sending a letter to the […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 28 Yesterday, Chris Brown was in jail on a felony assault charge, and the world was once again a beautiful place where rose petals fall from the sky. Today, it’s raining shit—because not only has his felony charge been knocked down to a misdemeanor, it looks like the abusive Mr. Teflon is going to […]