MONDAY 5 While our One Day at a Time go-to gals Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes work on their mental issues and sobriety (BOOOOOOO. Just kidding. No really, BOOOOOOO.) who’s going to entertain us? How about America’s number one douchebag, Justin Bieber? Here’s this week’s example of JB douchebaggery: According to the New York Post, […]
One Day at a Time
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 29 In a startling turn of events, a Pope said something today that was actually reasonable. In an interview aboard the papal aircraft (which we’ve nicknamed, “Our Airline of Perpetual Sorrows”), Pope Francis was asked how he felt about gay priests and responded, “We shouldn’t marginalize people for this.” Wait. Wait, wait, wait, waitwaitwaitwaitWAIT. […]
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MONDAY 22 Though One Day at a Time usually focuses on the most terrible aspects of the human condition, today we devote our attentions to life! In particular, the birth of the royal baby! Born to the Duchess and Duke of Cambridge, the bouncing baby boy weighed in at 8 lbs., 6 oz. and…WAIT. THIS […]
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MONDAY 15 Let’s start by checking in on the “First Family of Monstrosities”: the Kardashians! As we know, Kim and Kanye West’s new baby North West is going to be the worst thing that’s ever happened on this planet ever. Why? Because now the Kardashians have something new to exploit. Example: Instead of focusing on […]
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MONDAY 8 Once an absolutely darling teen heartthrob, now an insufferable 19-year-old prick, Justin Bieber is apparently doing everything he can to attain the ultimate pinnacle of douchiness. TMZ unveiled a video today depicting young Mr. Bieber and a gaggle of his backward baseball cap-wearing buddies leaving a nightclub through the establishment’s kitchen…when Justin stops […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 1 Impossible as it may sound, some people are actually claiming that motherhood has changed howling seahag Kim Kardashian into a (what??) somewhat bearable person. “When I walked in to see her, Kim was holding the baby,” said unreliable witness and Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin to Us Weekly. “I said, ‘Oh, my god. […]
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MONDAY 24 It’s been a big week for gay rights, abortion fights, and racist, homophobic, and incredibly annoying celebs—so let’s dive right in! As gleefully reported last week, celebrity racist (oh, and she cooks shitty Southern food, too) Paula Deen was FIRED for admitting to spouting racist epithets in the not-too-distant past. (Her excuse? She’s […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY 17 Exciting news, kiddos! As we reported last week, we couldn’t give two shits whether Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s baby was born or not…however, we DO care very deeply about what idiotic name they’ll bestow upon the unlucky little girl. And thus far? They refuse to officially release the name. But! We unofficially […]
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MONDAY 10 Today begins with two young adults—both of whom represent America in their own special way. Our first young adult is confessed NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden who turned over thousands of classified documents to England’s The Guardian, blowing the lid off the pervasive spying on U.S. citizens that our government claims protects us from […]
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One Day at a Time
MONDAY, JUNE 3 For the love of all that’s holy…can someone please take away Amanda Bynes’ Twatter account? For example…CASE IN POINT 1: After famously twattering she would like rapper Drake to “murder her vagina,” she’s apparently changed her mind, writing “Drake has the ugliest smile, ugly gums uneven teeth ugly eyes.” (For those just […]