Upfront

As if we didn’t know.First there was Mark Foley and the Congressional pages. Then there was evangelist Ted Haggard, with his massage-and-meth parties. Then there was Larry Craig, with his toe-tapping and his wide stance.

It was just a matter of time before word got out about our llama problem. No, not that problem.

The one where Central Oregon llamas go crazy and attack humans. Aaaargh!

File this one under "Only in South Carolina."

The beautiful people of Malibu have a large, smelly and stubborn mess on their hands - a 70-ton blue whale carcass that just refuses to go away.

Are you worried about the perennial problem of picking out a Christmas gift for the man or woman who has everything?

It's October and that means Stop Sign season is over in rural America. We are officially in the brief window where rifle hunters cease their age-old assault on traffic signs and train their rifles on real live animals.
But hunters won't be the only ones throwing out decoys.
The Oregon State Police said that it will be back in the field over the coming weeks with a decoy designed to trap law breaking hunters.

It's been said that you can get anything on eBay - though Upfront's experience is limited to an old pair of rollerblades and an outdated bike shock. But a quick survey on the online auction site revealed listings this week for a private jet ($525,000), a signed Andy Warhol screenprint ($22,000) and a men's fitness book written by OJ Simpson ($2).

Marcel Marceau, the world's most famous mime, died last weekend in Paris at the age of 84. Let us observe a moment of silence.

Former porn mega-star Jenna Jameson got a guided tour of the U.S. Capitol last Thursday. The Capitol police were impressed, asking for autographs and posing for pictures. But Sen. Arlen Specter seemed not especially amused.

a new meaning to open container.If there's one thing better than beer, it's a whole lotta beer.