MONDAY 25 Happy birthday, Miley Cyrus: You’ve been ROBBED. Readers of One Day at a Time will undoubtedly remember last week’s retelling of Miley’s epic birthday party, which included twerking strippers, the Lorax, and reportedly a teepee (oooh, how multicultural). Unfortunately, along with her numerous gifts, she also received a good, old-fashioned robbery. A thief […]
Ann Romano
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 2 Soooo… how are things going financially for you? A bit tight this year? Well, you’re not the only ones! So many are struggling to make ends meet—especially when it comes to holiday spending. Except of course, the modern day version of the Gorgons, the Kardashian family who spent a whopping $250,000 on their […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 18 Formerly adorable pop star turned major-league douche Justin Bieber has brought his international reign of terror back to his poor, beleaguered neighborhood. On Friday, Das Biebs threw a loud, all-night rager at his Calabasas, California mansion—inviting approximately 100 guests that reportedly included such celebs as the multi-named Snoop Lion, boxer Floyd Mayweather, “woman […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 11 Okay, we’ll admit it…we now can appreciate and love buck-toothed hillbilly Miley Cyrus. Sure, we’ve had our differences of opinion in the past… remember when she tried to convince us she had been smoking salvia? Oh girl, please. And while she may not yet be the perfect feminist dreamboat, we’ve been gazing at […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 4 Kids…who needs ’em? However, it’s come to our attention that some people actually enjoy parenting…even if they’re not very good at it. AT ALL. Case in point: The increasingly tangled trio of Charlie Sheen, and his ex-wives Denise Richards, and Brooke Mueller. Denise shocked the world today by sending a letter to the […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 28 Yesterday, Chris Brown was in jail on a felony assault charge, and the world was once again a beautiful place where rose petals fall from the sky. Today, it’s raining shit—because not only has his felony charge been knocked down to a misdemeanor, it looks like the abusive Mr. Teflon is going to […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 21 The day the world dreaded for months has finally arrived: Kanye West proposed to Kim Kardashian. (Oh dear god noooooooo!) The “Gold Digger” singer officially proposed to the gold-digging monster today during a secret surprise visit to San Francisco’s AT&T Park, where he had the words “PLEEEASE MARRY MEEE!!” flash on the Jumbotron. […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 14 This just in: Kanye West is a big, dumb snob. As he constantly reminds us, Kanye is the best thing to happen to the fashion world since Coco Chanel slipped into a pair of men britches—and so, is totes embarrassed by his no-style, Sears-shoppin’ baby mama Kim Kardashian. In a ridiculously wrongheaded attempt […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 7 Let’s start with some news that the Kardashian family hopes we’ll give two shits about: Karkrashian matriarch Kris Jenner and freakish-looking hubby Bruce Jenner are separated! OH NO! How can this possibly be…that we could not care less about this rotting piece of non-news? “We are living separately and we are much happier […]
Posted inOpinion
One Day at a Time
MONDAY 30 In a shocking—SHOCKING!—turn of events, Republicans have once again turned against the people who elected them by causing a government shutdown, furloughing 800,000 workers without pay…all in a failed attempt to insure that our country’s neediest citizens remain without health insurance. Hmmm…that makes sense! If you’re Darth Vader. But instead of blowing up […]
