Source Weekly, Author at The Source - Bend, Oregon

A Good Start

I'm so tired of reading about these idiots so broken up about the thinning of the geese flock. Do they realize they got eaten?

Source WeeklyJuly 21, 2010September 27, 2024

I'm so tired of reading about these idiots so broken up about the thinning of the geese flock. Do they realize they got eaten?
I was in Drake Park this weekend and it was awesome not to have to wipe goose sh*t off my kids flip-flops every ten feet. They're still geese everywhere, by the way. Looks like they have another 100 or so to go, in my opinion.

Opinion

Keep Wildlife In the Wild

In the parking area of Todd Lake I met the parents of two boys (aged between 8 and 10) who had filled a Ziploc bag with tadpoles and frogs.

Source WeeklyJuly 21, 2010March 5, 2023

In the parking area of Todd Lake I met the parents of two boys (aged between 8 and 10) who had filled a Ziploc bag with tadpoles and frogs. As they climbed into their giant SUV, I asked what would become of the frogs and the father said, “Oh, we don't know, the joy is in the catching.”
Actually, the thrill is in the catching, the joy is in the releasing. Eli and Gavin, boys of the same age who I met on the other side of Todd Lake, understood this. When I asked what would become of the toads they were catching, they said, “Oh, we'll let them go. We like wildlife.” They had also witnessed the horror of the Ziploc and called it disgusting and sad. Then I encountered a dead trout, very likely the result of a catch and release (it's ignored how often the stress of being caught and handled kills fish).

News

Klondike Kate: “Our Destitute Prostitute” or “Aunt Kate”

Source WeeklyJuly 21, 2010August 3, 2025

Given our checkered history of only outsiders being arrested for prostitution and government officials being recalled for being too cozy with the sin-dustry, our only and erroneous image of this era is “Klondike Kate” – lovingly called “our destitute prostitute” (a misnomer by most accounts) or “Aunt Kate” during her 30 years in Bend, where she retired after a life of adventure in Yukon.
“She was an entertainer of heart and generosity, she supported the fire department and the hospital.” explains Joan Massey in defense of Kate, convincingly because Joan is dressed in exquisite all-white 1920s garb, a flapper with feathered hat and silken overcoat despite 90 degree high desert heat.

Opinion

Our Toxic Times

I just finished reading an article about polychlorinated biphenyl (PCB) contamination of the Hudson River drainage (Harper’s Magazine, Dec. 2009).

Source WeeklyJuly 21, 2010June 30, 2024

I just finished reading an article about polychlorinated biphenyl (PCB) contamination of the Hudson River drainage (Harper's Magazine, Dec. 2009). To make a long story short, General Electric dumped millions of gallons of PCBs into the river, geology, and groundwater for decades, leaving a toxic legacy that is impossible to fix. PCB's are synthetic oils, and as I read the article a number of parallels between the Hudson River Valley and the recent disaster in the Gulf of Mexico came to mind: In both instances, the public's interest lies subverted beneath the bottom line of a powerful corporation; in both, a significant slice of our nation's national heritage has been destroyed unnecessarily.
It is interesting the way that private enterprise has replaced democracy as the emblematic philosophy of our national identity. This has not happened accidentally, and its intended results have been reaped by companies like GE and BP. The only course for curtailing disasters like the Hudson River and the Gulf of Mexico lies in government intervention, but, government is now widely regarded as the source of any and all of our ills, while people's patriotic instincts have been diverted overseas.

Opinion

Don't Blame the State for Wolf Problems

I look forward to wolves re-establishing themselves throughout Oregon. I take a keen interest in each new sighting, the expansion of their territory, and the environmental benefit they bring.

Source WeeklyJuly 21, 2010January 4, 2023

I look forward to wolves re-establishing themselves throughout Oregon. I take a keen interest in each new sighting, the expansion of their territory, and the environmental benefit they bring. I also think you may have missed the boat giving the boot to the Oregon Department of Fish & Wildlife (ODFW). The agency spent years crafting the Oregon Wolf Conservation and Management Plan. Representatives of all Oregon stakeholders helped draft that plan. Ranchers and county officials from northeastern Oregon were the only represented groups who opposed the final plan.
Ranchers opposed that plan with good reason, they were afraid for their livelihood. The killing of a single calf or lamb is an economic loss to them, that means they make less money and must spend more money and time changing the nature of their grazing operations. Having large mobile predators on the land with grazing animals has incredible environmental benefit, yet creates significant problems for ranchers. Ranchers are the one of the primary users of rangeland in the intermountain west, and the primary stewards of that land. If we don't like what they do with that land, we need to work with them to create a new use pattern – not shut them down.

Culture

Same Old Story: Despicable Me finds another animated feature taking the easy way out.

Let’s say—just hypothetically—that you’re launching a production studio for computer-animated features. Your inaugural effort is going to lay the groundwork for the way audiences will think about your brand name.

Source WeeklyJuly 14, 2010January 4, 2023

Let's say – just hypothetically – that you're launching a production studio for computer-animated features. Your inaugural effort is going to lay the groundwork for the way audiences will think about your brand name. And you have at least a couple of models out there for how you could do things. Do you: a) focus intently on nailing a story with real emotional honesty and resonance, or b) find a familiar, time-worn premise that you don't have to think too much about, and then pack it full of gags?
It's not incredibly surprising to see Illumination Entertainment choosing option “b” for its debut feature, Despicable Me. DreamWorks Animation hasn't exactly gone broke looking to that paradigm, nor have other late-comers like Blue Sky who followed in those footsteps. But with the way Pixar has raised the bar on animated storytelling by preferring option “a,” you really need to nail the execution if you're going to trot out a concept that's been done and done and done again. And Despicable Me appears content to deliver something that's merely diverting.

Culture

Blown Away: New racer Split/Second lets you level the competition

Every year, some trend in videogaming comes from behind and delivers an outstanding streak of games.

Source WeeklyJuly 14, 2010January 4, 2023

Every year, some trend in videogaming comes from behind and delivers an outstanding streak of games. In 2009 there was an abundance of beautiful fighting games: Street Fighter IV for arcade fans, Fight Night Round 4 for sports lovers, DISSIDIA Final Fantasy for franchise fighting, and the decent Tekken 6 at the end of the year. The year before that was all about outstanding PSP games. Now 2010 is turning out to be the year of outstanding racing games.
Every system has its own solid racing title. The Wii has the venerable Mario Kart Wii, but the PS3 is catching up with this year's excellent kart fantasia ModNation Racers. 2010 has also given the PS3 and 360 MotoGP 09/10 for serious bike racing simulation. Split/Second joins the group as an arcade-paced racing game with an abundance of combat and explosions. Crashing airplanes, capsizing ships – the stuff of Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay movies as seen from the inside of a racecar in less than five minutes.

Culture

Get Out of My Brain, Mother!!

As a father of at least a couple dozen out-of-wedlock kids, I believe I can speak with some authority on the subject of child rearing. Tip #1: Don’t call it “child rearing.” It’s disgusting.

Source WeeklyJuly 14, 2010March 13, 2023

As a father of at least a couple dozen out-of-wedlock kids, I believe I can speak with some authority on the subject of child rearing. Tip #1: Don't call it “child rearing.” It's disgusting. Tip #2: Children are much like amoebas in the brain department, and therefore only require two things: the right to (a) stay up all night and (b) eat as much candy as possible. Offer them a Zagnut bar or an hour less of sleep, and you can get them to wash your car for a year. Tip #3: Kids will believe everything you tell them. For example, my mother told me that when I was a baby, she implanted a microphone in my brain, which would let her know what I was thinking every minute of the day. This totally psyched me out, and even though I was pretty sure “brain microphones” were a scientific impossibility, it worked like a charm. My efforts at mischief became clumsy and insecure. For example, when I'd try to steal candy from the cupboard, I'd invariably make enough noise to alert my mom, who would hop out from around the corner yelling, “AH-HAH! Your brain microphone told me you'd be doing that!!”

Food & Drink

Sweet Success: Staying in a State of Yo on Newport

Source WeeklyJuly 14, 2010January 4, 2023

If Newport Avenue is feeling a little more congested, you can blame the yogurt, or more accurately the yogurt lovers who've been flocking to Cuppa Yo, a new self-serve frozen yogurt shop across the street from Sunnyside Sports, since early June.
Cuppa Yo's formula for success lies in its slogan: Pour it. Top it. Weigh it. As you walk into the brightly decorated shop, you pick up a paper cup and choose from eight varieties of frozen yogurt flavors. You control how much you pour and how many different flavors you want. Flavors change weekly. On the day I went, the selection included Dulche de Leche (Caramel), Cappuccino, Orange Sorbet, Chocolate, Vanilla and Reese's Peanut Butter. (I went before an additional machine with two other flavors was added.)

Food & Drink

Better Than the Rest

“You can stop training,” my coach said to me. “The contest is off.” I put down my weighted shaker, took my headphones off, wiped the sweat from my brow and looked up in disbelief.

Source WeeklyJuly 14, 2010February 1, 2023

“You can stop training,” my coach said to me. “The contest is off.” I put down my weighted shaker, took my headphones off, wiped the sweat from my brow and looked up in disbelief.
The suicide drills between the kitchen and the bar, squats on full cases of beer, lunges with magnum Champagne bottles in each hand, and shaking drills have filled up my free time – and for what? There would be no Best Bartender Category this year in the Source's Best of Bend issue.

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