I didn’t expect this movie to be smart, but I’m not sure I expected it to be so stupid, either. As an unabashed fan of the “Fast and the Furious” franchise, I’ve been looking forward to “Hobbs & Shaw” all year. Dwayne Johnson’s Luke Hobbs has been the best character in the series since his introduction […]
Film
California Dreamin’
I think Quentin Tarantino is a misunderstood filmmaker. He’s an unembarrassed cinephile who regularly comes under attack for his movies containing sexism, racism, brutal violence, a deep-seated foot fetish and enough bad language to make a sailor blush. Yeah, most of his movies contain those things, but they exist to serve a purpose, not to propagate […]
See Ya Later, Alligator
I‘m a grown-ass man. Yes, I spend too much money on comic books, physical media and having strangers cook me food, but I still feel like I’m more of a grown-up than I was, like, three to five years ago. I’ve seen upward of a thousand movies in theaters over the yearsโyet, amazingly, I had […]
Collateral Damage
*This paragraph should be read in that deep, gravelly voice that the guy who narrates movie trailers uses. Vic Manning is a no-nonsense cop who can’t see much of anything at all. Stu is an Uber driver who’s opening a women-only spinning gym called “Spinsters.” After Vic gets some poorly timed LASIK surgery, he commandeers […]
The Sommartime Blues
The best horror movies can usually be described in a sentence. A killer shark terrorizes a beachfront community. A knife-wielding masked killer stalks horny teenagers. A young woman gets pregnant with the anti-Christ. They’re simple setups that use that brevity of plot to either wring terror out of the mundane or explore some deeper thematic […]
May the Source Be With You
Holy heck, everyone! We’re right in the middle of it now. Summer is here, with her arms blissfully stretched out, cracking her back and, I dunno, maybe playing some cornhole while eating a brat and sipping a honey-colored microbrew. That sounds like what she’d do. And you too, maybe! But when you’re not doing that, […]
The Frogurt is Also Cursed
I realize that most of the people headed to see the reboot of “Child’s Play” aren’t really going to care about this, but indulge me in a quick rant about the state of remakes, sequels, reboot-quels, pre-makes, re-imaginings and se-boots. The original “Child’s Play” came out in November 1988 and focused on a mortally wounded serial […]
Trash or Toy?
Look, Pixar has always been pretty good about finding moments of genuine humanity within their movies about flying houses, sentient toys and cute robots, but they’re masters at unearthing the sadness at the core of the human condition. Animated movies about anthropomorphic toys shouldn’t be so gut wrenchingly honest and upsetting, but here we are. […]
Small-Town Lives
Bobby Hoffman has a bad haircut and a worse mustache. He wakes up every morning in a classic Airstream trailer surrounded by empty boxes of Pop Tarts. He vapes and jogs simultaneously and is condescended to by just about everyone he meets, including his festering prick of a boss at a terrible Italian restaurant where […]
From First to Last
“The Dark Phoenix Saga” changed how I viewed comic books. Released from January to October 1980 and written by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, “The Dark Phoenix Saga” showed me that not all comics would have happy endings. Jean Grey, arguably the kindest and most empathetic X-Man, gets exposed to a solar flare which turns […]

