Posted inCulture

Strikeout: Front Office swings for the fences and comes up short

Yes, even virtual players are on 'roids. Of all the jobs in the world, I never thought I'd be managing a
baseball team. I like baseball. I watch baseball. I've even played
baseball. But managing baseball is all about directing a group of men
toward a unified goal. It's an American ideal. And I'm not sure I can
even navigate all of these menus.

MLB Front Office Manager is a
baseball simulation that sits on the screen like an operating system
from the last century. A tower of choices is stacked up along the side
of the screen with names such as "Payroll," "Transactions" and "Budget
Allocation." Somehow, amidst these unintuitive options, I'm supposed to
find the path to victory.
During my first career-with the New
York Yankees-I managed to lose most of my best players because I failed
to visit the menu that would have let me renew their contracts. After
ruining that venerable franchise, I transferred my ignorance to the
L.A. Dodgers where I was unable to successfully negotiate with Manny
Ramirez. It's not that I wasn't willing to pay him a superstar's
salary-I just couldn't figure out how to control the arbitration.

Posted inCulture

Notes from the Oscars: Parsing Hollywood’s annual salute to itself

All Jack(man)ed Up
As someone who is averse to People magazine and
most other forms of 21st Century celebrity worship, I can honestly say
that I switched on my TV without any clue as to who would be hosting
Sunday night's Academy Awards. I know that I wasn't alone when I
breathed a small sigh of relief realizing that it was Hugh Jackman on
emcee duties. It's not that I'm a big Wolverine fan. But like many
other Americans, I'm still recovering from Whoopi Goldberg. Just out of
curiosity I checked to see how many times the Academy inflicted Whoopi
upon viewers like me. Surprisingly few, in fact. Whoopi hosted just
four times, but the punishment was spread out over nine years between
1993 and 2001. And I think that's what made it so difficult - the not
knowing. Pouring through the stats we determined that Billy Crystal was
the King of the Post-Reagan Era with seven hosting credits to his name.
But nobody can hold a candle to Bob Hope who hosted or co-hosted a
record 17 times between 1938 and 1977.
Jackman did a solid job
showing off his song and dance skills in some Old Timey choreographed
show tune sequences. But the Academy was clearly shooting for a
controversy-free host when it tapped one of its own to emcee. And
missing were the snappy one-liners and industry jabs provided by Jon
Stewart who hosted two of the past three Oscars.

Posted inCulture

Our Picks for the Week of 2/25-3/5

Kris Delmhorst & Jeffrey Foucault
thursday 26
The Sisters
Folk Festival Winter Concert Series continues with this show featuring
two brick-solid singer/songwriters. Kris Delmhorst has a poppy yet
folky approach to her songwriting and couples storytelling lyrics with
a silky voice to create smile-inducing tracks. Midwesterner Jerry
Foucault co-headlines, combining blues and country to create a brand of
Americana that tugs on your heartstrings. His album Ghost Repeater is a
must-have for the indie-folk fans of today. 7pm. $15/adult,
$10/student. Sisters High School Auditorium, 1700 W McKinney Butte Rd.
Sisters.
Polar Plunge Deschutes benefiting Special Olympics Oregon
friday 27
Don't
believe the hype…opthermia! Oh come on, now. We're just kidding. It's
not that cold, it's just the Deschutes River. Jump or crawl on in and
raise money for the Special Olympics. Then afterwards you can rejoice
in that warm tingly feeling you get when doing something nice for
others…or that could be your body screaming for warmth. Plunge at
6:30pm. 4:30pm Friday, Feb 27. Riverbend Park.

Posted inCulture

Nature’s Face Blanket: Why we love our winter beards

Winter beards, and beards in general, have become increasingly acceptable in the past couple years. Gone are assumptions that the bearded man is homeless, a

Winter beards, and beards in general, have become increasingly acceptable in the past couple years. Gone are assumptions that the bearded man is homeless, a logger, a homeless logger, a 19th century sailor, an iconic Christmas figure, a sexual predator, or, God forbid, a hippie. It's come to the point that a man can have a beard and a job. In fact, some 71 percent of the Source's male staffers and contributors are currently bearded.

Upfront columnist Mick McMenaminuses sports a trimmed black number that features largely clean cheeks, resident beer specialist Ric E. James is currently sporting a "rebirth beard" (a beard that is grown immediately following the shaving of the previous facial hair installment), while I myself have an increasingly unruly face full of hair that currently smells like Cheetos. Yes, I had Cheetos with my lunch today.

Posted inCulture

Any Way You Slice It

How to kill a ninja:
You can always kill a ninja with a flurry of indiscriminate sword-swings. But ninjas are resilient little suckers-almost as durable as you are. It can take a lot of sword-swings, which just isn't practical when you're facing a whole pack. If you really want to put a ninja to rest quickly and efficiently, you'll want to bisect them.

Posted inCulture

Jason No-Die! – Friday the Umpteenth adds nothing new to formulaic concept

Ahoy there!The same team responsible for the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre is
back again with less fervor and a rote take on an already tired genre.
With the newest Friday the 13th nothing has changed to reinvigorate the
worn-out formula. Jason, it seems, has been resurrected for the sole
purpose of raking in box office revenue. (Which he did, by the way to
the tune of $24 million over opening weekend - tops at the box office)
What the film sorely lacks is something dastardly different. Slasher
flicks depend on originality because we've seen it all before.

While
I found it sacrilege to remake TCM, Friday the 13th sinks to new
depths.The original film added suspense to the grisly killings with a
secret killer whose identity was revealed at the end. Only in
serialized sequels does the saga of hockey-masked Jason Voorhees
commence. Here in redux land we get a mini intro explaining the
decapitation death of Jason's mom and his subsequent rampage. The first
part of the movie is strong, reminiscent of 2002's Cabin Fever.
Marginally interesting characters actually seem like they're
interacting, and the inevitable demise of the oversexed, weed smoking
campers is hilarious, frightening and, true to any early slasher flick,
ripe with abundant sex, gore and nudity.

Posted inCulture

Money Walks: Run Lola Run director misfires with bloated bank thriller

Owen and Watts make a lonely run on the bank. I have never been to the Guggenheim Museum in New York City, but I
imagine the trip would be a heckuva lot more fascinating with non-stop
Uzi fire and fountains of spurting blood. That is one thing The
International understands pretty well. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a
firm grasp on much else.

Tom Twyker, the German-born director of
1998's cult hit Run Lola Run, helms The International with the
intention of producing a film that is equal parts James Bond and
political thought piece. The problem with trying to straddle two very
different worlds is that you usually end up with a cramp in your groin
and fall flat on your face. That's sort of what happens here.

Posted inCulture

Our Picks for the Week of 2/18-2/26

Mass Transit, Mindscape,
Gainon the Illyrical
friday 20
Start
off the weekend with a free night of local hip-hop headlined by the
eclectic beats of Mass Transit. The show is hosted by Mindscape, who
many of you probably know as Fish from Person People, but he's got a
sweet game of his own. Oh yeah, and it's free, did we mention that.
9pm. Players Bar & Grill, 25 NW Century Dr.
Cicada Omega, Larry and His Flask
friday 20
This
Portland band brings a special brand of Kentucky fire and brimstone
coupled with rock, soul and blues…and plenty more. Read more about them
in the Sound section. 8pm doors, 9:30pm show. Silver Moon Brewing Co.,
24 NW Greenwood Ave. $5.
 

Posted inCulture

Bridal Survivor: A Do? A Don’t? The council is still out

And The Winner Is…The factory outlet stores may offer a nice view of the Cascades, but the blank storefront between the Paper Factory and Rocky

And The Winner Is…The factory outlet stores may offer a nice view of the Cascades, but the blank storefront between the Paper Factory and Rocky Mountain Chocolate hosts no resemblance to Borneo, or any of the other exotic locations of one of TV's most spun-off game shows. Survivor begat the likes of Big Brother, the Bachelor/ette, and the most classy VH1 set (Charm School, Flavor of Love, you know, the really irresistibly trashy ones). So when local Bend radio station 104.1FM decided to apply the Survivor convention to the wedding season, Bend found itself in reality heaven. While in this economy I can rationalize $10,000 in prizes, I can't quite rationalize a week posing as a store mannequin with sorority-hazing inspired personal hygiene, while competing in "tough" games like Hollywood Celebrity Matchup, or Name that Peak Tune. Aren't brides supposed to be poised, graceful and glowing, not strategizing and competitive and self-deprecating? When did Anna Nicole Smith replace Audrey Hepburn?

Posted inCulture

Raiding the Tomb Again!: Tomb Raider Underworld

Adolescent boys rejoice, Laura has returned. Tomb Raider helped define the original Playstation. The game sold
millions of copies spinning many sequels and a brassiere-busting silver
screen turn from a pre-tabloid Angelina Jolie. Now Laura Croft returns
for another adventure with Underworld. Making her way through the
wilderness of the Mediterranean, the deep jungles of Mexico and other
exotic locations around the world that would give Indiana Jones a run
for his money. On Laura's plate this time is the quest for the
legendary Hammer of Thor. As with most of the Tomb Raider games you
have to make your way through mind-numbing puzzles and just about every
trap you could think of.

Most Tomb Raider games follow a basic
outline, and this one is no different. The layout of the game is
gorgeous, and the lush landscapes team with life. A lot of time was put
into the environments and animals to make them more realistic than the
original Tomb Raider game. Crystal Dynamics was able to blend Tomb
Raiders' old-school puzzle solving, shooting, and climbing so they
overlap each other. The result is smoother and more realistic. A neat
change also new to this edition is the melee combat system that makes
Laura fight and keep her distance from her attackers at the same time.

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