Posted inCulture

Oh So Pretty…: But 3D magic and an all-star cast doesn’t fully hold up G Force

The force is strong with this one. The 3D version of G Force may rightly be criticized as mere eye candy, but if that’s

The force is strong with this one. The 3D version of G Force may rightly be criticized
as mere eye candy, but if that's the case, then-somewhat surprisingly-it's
among the most opulent and luxurious eye candy we're likely to see this summer.
From the first technology-rich sequences, the 3D experience reminds us of what
it feels like to be a kid taking that first ride on Space Mountain: mouth
slightly agape, head tilted skyward and eyes fixed blissfully wide. And one
certainly gets the feeling this 3D pipeline is just getting started. But even
with our eyeballs having been dazzled, by the end of G Force, the magic
of this gimmick has worn off.

To get an idea of the landscape of G Force, think of
a Jason Bourne movie with guinea pigs as major characters. An affable human,
Ben, played with restraint by Zach (Hangover)
Galifianakis, heads an under-the-radar project employing guinea pigs and a
mole. I suspect that the opening sequence is riveting even without the 3D, but
with the effects it's positively mesmerizing.

Posted inCulture

Return to Sender: Not even gore can save the Orphan from its own gimmicks

She paints beautifully, Honey. And silly you thought she was trying to kill us! Opening with an over-the-top bloody delivery room dream sequence, Orphan shows

She paints beautifully, Honey. And silly you thought she was trying to kill us!Opening with an over-the-top bloody delivery room dream sequence, Orphan shows some
promise. But soon, it quickly dissolves into the opening class session for
Formulaic Horror Moviemaking 101 with an insulting script destined to make you
roll your eyes about 50 times.

This insidious stab at the genre takes everything beyond
believability, losing any credibility almost immediately. A troubled wife (Vera
Farmiga) has demons to exorcise from her past revolving around the loss of her
daughter. With two kids already and the blessing of a worthless psychiatrist
(inadequately played by Margo Martindale), she and husband John (Peter
Sarsgaard) are off to an orphanage to pick smiling and lonely Esther (Isabelle
Fuhrman). Artistic, intelligent and world-savvy, Esther is no regular small
fry. Unconvincingly enamored, the couple takes the child home to ruin their
lives with one despicable act after another.  

Posted inCulture

Stick With It: Fight Night delivers an easy TKO

A long ways from punch out. The shortest distance between two points is supposed to be a straight line. But in boxing, as in life,

A long ways from punch out. The shortest distance between two points is supposed to be a
straight line. But in boxing, as in life, things are rarely so direct. The
shortest distance between my fist at Point A and my foe's face at Point B might
occasionally be a simple jab. But it might also follow the curved path of a
hook, or the elbow bend of an uppercut. And all of these are woven into the
ducking and dodging of the fighters, tangling a simple line of attack into a
serpentine swarm.

In an attempt to mimic this dance of missed and mixed-up
connections, the controls in Fight Night Round 4 avoid the
direct simplicity of button-pushing. Every major punch is thrown with the
action of the right thumbstick. An angled snap forward throws a straight or a
jab. Swinging it out and then up delineates the action of a hook. Likewise,
down and around initiates and imitates the arc of an uppercut.

Blocks are controlled in the same way, using the same thumbstick
with the addition of a trigger being clutched. As a result, not only does the
action of the thumbstick correspond to the actual actions of the boxer's body,
but the use of one control for both offense and defense also recreates the same
dilemma that a fighter must confront: how to simultaneously attack and defend
with the same pair of fists.  

Posted inCulture

Our Picks for the Week 7/30-8/6

Hackensaw Boys thursday 30 The last time these pickin’ and grinnin’ fools (and we mean “fools” in the kindest way possible) came through town, it

Hackensaw
Boys
thursday 30
The last time these
pickin' and grinnin' fools (and we mean "fools" in the kindest way possible)
came through town, it was a bluegrass-fueled night of fun. This time, the
Charlottesville, Virginia-based band is paying us a visit on their way over to
Pickathon in Portland. 9pm. $8. Silver Moon Brewing Co. 24 NW Greenwood Ave.

72-Hour
Shoot Out

thursday 30
Hmm, what can you do
with three days? If you said, "Make a movie" you're probably already a
contestant in BendFilm's 72-Hour Shoot Out. This contest gives contestants only
72 hours to write, film and edit their films while competing against fellow
local moviemakers. Check out this event where you can see the final products in
McMenamins always-cozy theater. 6pm Thursday, Jul 30. McMenamins Old St.
Francis Theater, 700 NW Bond St. $3.

Empty Space
Orchestra
friday 31
You may have seen Empty
Space a few times in the past month, but now is your chance to see some ESO in
the "friscalating dusklight" at the Show Us Your Spokes concert series. 6:30pm.
Parrilla Grill, 635 NW 14th St. $3.

Posted inCulture

Booted From Gardens, Moonscapes, and Lava Rock Love: Mick McMenaminuses takes the COBA Tour of Homes

Husband and wife team Guild and Gould went big in old town with a classically inspired super-du(per) plex.People don’t like home invasions. And those opening

Husband and wife team Guild and Gould went big in old town with a classically inspired super-du(per) plex.People don't like home invasions. And those opening their doors for
the famed COBA Tour of Homes annual event last weekend can now relax.
The streams of curious couples, bargain shoppers and transients like
myself have slunk back to our abodes, heads full of ideas yet wallets
still light
So when assigned to cover this event, I decided to
start where I live, Awbrey Butte, my chic locale for the past few
weeks. Mind you, I don't actually live on the Butte, rather in a '79
Ford RV named Harrietta Ambages, and the notion of "home" is a parking
space with shade, an electrical outlet and the occasional shower.
Stoking
Harrietta and rounding another street that goes nowhere but up. I
finally found a "High Desert Garden." The single-story home is standard
Bend but the garden is utter United Nations with each part echoing a
different country-Mexico, Greece, North Korea (an unfertile plot with a
single statue).
I didn't get the garden's builder/owner/seller's name because we were interrupted by, "Where's your ticket?"
"Ticket?"

Posted inCulture

Politics

They made it mean something, the choice between cake and pie. Whoever thought as children that the world would grow up cruel enough to pit

They made it mean something, the choice between cake and pie. Whoever thought as children that the world would grow up cruel enough to pit frosting against filling? History tells us the seeds of revolution came from one too many times hearing, "The proof of the pudding is in the crust." Maybe the kind of place where they do things like write letters, on actual paper, and drink tea understands pudding with crust, but we make no attempt to understand it here.

The pie people called the cake people "gimmicky." Too much precedence placed on sugar flowers and fancy writing and those little plastic dinosaurs and clowns and princesses that make their way to the center of most celebrations, only to be rescued from sweet sludge, licked clean, and displayed like precious mementos along a child's favorite shelf. People who eat cake suffer from arrested development. The cake people called the pie people old-fashioned, equating a fondness for the much-maligned crust with other dubious things, like leaving your Christmas decorations up past Valentine's Day and playing the state lottery.

Posted inCulture

Got Ink?: A look at “Tattoo Machine: Tall Tales, True Stories, and My Life in Ink”

It would not be accurate to refer to Jeff Johnson’s collection of wryly-funny anecdotes and sometimes frightening tales in Tattoo Machine as simply a memoir.

It would not be accurate to refer to Jeff Johnson’s collection of wryly-funny anecdotes and sometimes frightening tales in Tattoo Machine as simply a memoir. Instead, Johnson-the co-owner of Sea Tramp Tattoo Company in Portland-uses his life experiences to help tell the story of the tattoo industry itself (though he isn’t quite sure when it became an “industry”). The reader learns about his turbulent childhood dabbling in drugs, and how he came to be the remarkable artist he is today through a series of lessons regarding different aspects of the business.
Johnson’s tales also describe the fascinating (and occasionally terrifying) characters that he’s come across in his 18 years tattooing. There were the large, stereotypically-gangster gun-toting men, whose leader wanted “Shaniqua” across his chest (the freaked-out and sweating Johnson had to quickly hide the fact that he’d accidentally written “Shaqu”). But the scariest individual who has walked into his shop was the tall, thin man who wanted a woman’s name and nine numbers across his chest. The first thing that came to Johnson’s mind was that it looked an awful lot like a social security number and when Johnson saw his back, he realized that this guy was covered in names and numbers. The next thing Johnson knew, there was a flash of white and the man was gone. The flash of white was the release form and the dude fled, taking anything he’d touched with him.

Posted inCulture

Sally Forced: The Ugly Truth is that an uptight heroine doesn’t make a romantic comedy

Ten bucks says they fall in love, but with hilarious consequences.Twenty years ago-almost to the day-American moviegoers were introduced to Sally Albright in Rob Reiner

Ten bucks says they fall in love, but with hilarious consequences.Twenty years ago-almost to the day-American moviegoers were introduced to Sally Albright in Rob Reiner and Nora Ephron's When Harry Met Sally. As played by Meg Ryan, she was a sunny but tightly-wound city girl who found a perfect foil in loosey-goosey misanthrope Harry Burns (Billy Crystal). Sally owed more than a little to Holly Hunter's Type-A, scheduled-crying-jag TV news producer Jane Craig in Broadcast News, but she became the standard bearer for a certain kind of romantic-comedy heroine, one we've already seen this summer in The Proposal: the sympathetic control freak.

The Ugly Truth arrives on this auspicious anniversary for the "rom-com" genre to remind us that it takes more than a list-maker with a pretty face to earn the "sympathetic" part of that character description. Katherine Heigl may be trying desperately to channel some Sally-and some Jane-into her performance, but that's not the same as giving an audience a reason to like her.
Heigl plays Abby Richter, whose occupation happens to be-watch out, Jane Craig!-a TV news producer. Overseeing a Sacramento morning show that's floundering in the ratings, she's also trying to find the perfect guy who will fit all the criteria on her checklist.

Posted inCulture

Could it Be Magic?: The Trouble with Harry Potter

Whaddaya call this sport again? Cribbage?British comedian Stewart Lee has a skit in response to the Harry Potter franchise. To quote: “People come up to

Whaddaya call this sport again? Cribbage?British comedian Stewart Lee has a skit in response to the Harry Potter franchise. To quote: "People come up to me and ask, 'Oh, did you read the new Harry Potter?' And I say, 'No I haven't read it, because I'm forty f***ing years-old, no, I did not read Harry Potter And The Tree Of NOTHING.'"

But point being, there is very little point to actually reviewing the latest Harry Potter movie. The franchise is a multi-billion dollar juggernaut, and the Hogwarts tales are so beloved across the world that the creators could probably turn out a shaky cell phone-made film of the cast drunkenly slurring through a script reading around a table at the Dog In The Pond pub in rural Sussex, with Daniel Radcliffe leaving for the bathroom half-way through not coming back, and it would still be a smash.
So, considering, it's fair that this multi-billion dollar juggernaut assumes that everyone has read the books, everyone has seen the movies and so proceeds to produce material based on this assumption. It sells. Well, this reviewer has not read the series, and has completely avoided anything more than a TV preview of the movies. Hell, this reviewer thought Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were a couple.

Posted inCulture

Our Picks for the Week 7/23-7/30

Too Short
thursday 23
No matter how you feel about this particular genre, we must reiterate the fact that a rap music legend is coming to Bend. His name, you ask? Too Short, the dude who pretty much invented the pimp image that so many other hip-hop artists have emulated over the years, including Snoop Dogg. This ain't his first rodeo in these parts either, he played here in 2004 and 2007. Also on the bill are Mistah Fab, Tha Jacka, Kenny Mack, Top Shelf, Mikey Vegaz, Double 00 & Koshir. Hosted By DJ Fatboy. All ages. 8pm. $24/adv, $29/door. Midtown Ballroom, 51 NW Greenwood Ave.
Bend Roots Fundraiser
thursday 23
Help raise money for this year's Bend Roots Revival. See the Liner Notes column for more info. 7:30pm. Tulen Center, 20 NW Greenwood Ave. $10 donation.

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