Editorial
Posted inOpinion

The Legislature Gits 'Er Done

This week’s glass slipper goes to the Legislature.
Intern

Redistricting is a job that can't be done without making some people unhappy. In fact, it often seems like it can't be done without making everybody unhappy.
So fraught with partisan rancor and political peril is the redistricting process that the Oregon Legislature hasn't managed to do it in 30 years. Since 1981, every time it tried to draw new district lines it wound up so hopelessly tangled in partisan knots that it had to turn the job over to the secretary of state.

Posted inOpinion

This Fresh Straight Poop Is Guaranteed E. coli Free

Take a sniff of this week’s poop.
Intern

Monday, June 6
And now, Weinergate! A weepy Rep. Anthony D. Weiner (D-NY) admits Tweeting gross photo of himself to woman, apologizes, but says he won't resign … Meanwhile House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi calls for ethics probe and right-wing gadfly Andrew Breitbart leaks what he says are more Weiner photos … It wasn't the sprouts: Bean sprouts blamed for Germany's E. coli outbreak exonerated by lab tests … Things are clouding up: Steve Jobs introduces Apple's new iCloud service, says: “We are going to move the digital hub, the center of your digital life, into the cloud” … If they holler, let 'em go: Scientists at the European Organisation for Nuclear Research manage to catch 300 atoms of anti-matter and hold them for 16 minutes.

Posted inOpinion

The Anti-Vaccination Crowd

Parents willingly denied vaccinations for their children in an attempt to help them, however, is this denial of vaccinations also increasing the number of diseases?
Intern

One of the perils of living in the information age is the ready availability of so much misinformation. Want to hear how the moon landing was faked or how Obama was born in Africa? Just punch a few keywords into your browser and – Poof! – you've got confirmation of your worst fears and insecurities. Such is the case with the anti-vaccination movement that stoked fears among parents about the safety of giving their children the once-routine shots to prevent diseases like mumps, measles and whooping cough. Twenty years ago, the idea of voluntarily putting your child at risk of diseases that have killed more people than any natural disaster or all accidents combined would have been unthinkable.

Posted inOpinion

The Freshest, Straightest Poop That Money Can't Buy

From E. coli to crotch shots on Twitter, an update on all the news for the week.
Intern

Monday, May 30
Shook up: In wake of Japan's nuclear disaster, Germany decides not to build any more nuke plants and phase out existing ones by 2022 … Set back: Regime of Libya's Muammar Qaddafi takes a hit as eight top generals defect and flee to Italy … When produce goes wrong: Outbreak of E. coli linked to tainted Spanish cucumbers kills at least 14 in Germany; other European countries close their borders to the deadly vegetables … This is gross: US Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) accused of sending photo of his crotch to woman via Twitter, but DailyKos says analysis shows it was PhotoShopped … This is the grossest ever: “Hangover II” becomes top-grossing comedy movie of all time, grossing more than $138 million over Memorial Day weekend. Did we mention it was really gross?

Tuesday, May 31
Big win for the right to bear rats: National Labor Relations Board rules unions have right to erect 16-foot inflatable rats outside business as protest symbol. Wow, that's a relief … Meeting of the minds(?): Possible presidential candidate Sarah Palin and ex-presidential candidate Donald Trump get together over pizza in NYC. No word on who picked up the check … 'Bye pyramid, hello pie: Obama administration ditches decades-old “food pyramid” in favor of “food pie” as guide to healthy eating. No, not chocolate cream pie … Too funny to be true: Former fundamentalist pastor Ted Haggard, ousted after gay sex scandal, to have cameo role in “Christian sex comedy.” We always thought that was a tautology … Just too funny: Rep. Anthony Weiner lawyers up with view toward possible suit against whoever sent that crotch photo.

Posted inOpinion

Republicans' Stall-and-Strangle Tactics

Source Weekly

There aren't many issues that Democrats and Republicans can agree upon these days. It's one of the reasons that our two-party system is so often mired in indecision and partisan gridlock even as our state and our nation face challenges that are among the greatest in our collective history.
Still there are a few areas where members of the major parties can sometimes find consensus. Public safety measures and proclamations to support American troops are two that come to mind. And, of course, there's children's safety.

Posted inOpinion

The Freshest, Most Wholesome Straight Poop Served Weekly

Eric Flowers

Monday,
May 23
Back to the Ould Sod: President Obama – uh, make that O'bama – arrives in Ireland for state visit, has pint of Guinness at local pub, performs a few Riverdance moves. Yes, I made the last bit up … At least 122 confirmed dead, 1,500 missing after Sunday's ferocious tornado in Joplin, MO … Gaga over Gaga: Demand for Lady Gaga's new album, Born This Way, on sale for 99 cents, is so heavy it crashes servers at Amazon … Here we go again: Britain and France escalate conflict in Libya, sending helicopters against Muammar Qaddafi's forces … Ugliness is in the eye of the beholder: Indescribably weird hat worn by Princess Beatrice at royal wedding sells for $130,000 on eBay … No, really, it's coming, trust me: Rapture prophet Harold Camping pronounces self “flabbergasted” that the Rapture didn't happen last Saturday, then predicts it actually will happen on Oct. 21. Okay, as long as it doesn't disrupt the NFL season.

Posted inOpinion

Tearing Down the Affordable Housing Fee

Scrapping or capping the affordable housing fee won’t do anything to revive Bend’s moribund building industry, but it will hamstring the city’s present and future efforts to ensure that people who work here will be able to live here.
Source Weekly

Five years ago, in the midst of one of the craziest real estate booms in the country, Bend slapped a fee on new construction projects to raise money to help create more affordable housing.
The fee, the only one of its kind in Oregon, has been successful in achieving that objective. So far it has generated more than $2.7 million, and it's leveraged many times that amount in federal matching funds.
But the Central Oregon Builders Association has never met a fee it likes, and now that the affordable housing fee is coming up before the city council for renewal, COBA is doing its best to kill it – or at least put it in the intensive care unit.

Posted inOpinion

If You're Reading This Poop You Didn't Get Raptured

Scoop Lewis covers all the weeks past news including Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child, The Rapture and more.
Source Weekly

Monday,
May 16
The Impregnator and the Rapinator: Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger reveals he fathered a love child 10 years ago; estranged wife Maria Shriver pleads for “compassion” for herself and children … Ex-International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn, accused of raping hotel chambermaid, is picked out of police lineup by alleged victim, undergoes tests for DNA evidence … One out, one in: Donald Trump announces he's bowing out of the presidential race, says he would have won, but “business is my greatest passion, and I am not ready to leave the private sector” … Meanwhile Mitt Romney, at fundraiser in Las Vegas, says he's “activating” his campaign, although he hasn't formally announced yet … Bringing up the rear: Intense interest in Pippa Middleton's ass sparks rise in plastic surgery in Britain as women seek to emulate her “curvy but not too peachy” contours.

Posted inOpinion

This Bill Is a Killer

Conservatives just don't like speed limits.
Source Weekly

Conservatives just don't like speed limits. Along with anti-smoking laws, motorcycle helmet laws and seat belt laws, they see them as another manifestation of the detested “nanny state” that's always looking over their shoulders and wagging a disapproving finger.
When Republicans took over Congress in the 1990s, one of their first moves was to repeal the national 55-mile-per-hour speed limit imposed in 1974 by the Jimmy Carter Administration. That left the setting of speed limits up to the states. Since then, Republicans across the country have been crusading to get speed limits increased – or better yet, eliminated.

Posted inOpinion

The Original Straight Poop© – Beware of Cheap Imitations

Scoop Lewis, Ace Reporter, reviews the past week’s biggest news stories both locally and globally.
Source Weekly

Monday,
May 9
High-flying geezers: Former Republican Sen. Alan Simpson, 80, says AARP is “38 million people bound together by love of airline discounts” … Meanwhile, House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) says Republicans want spending cuts in “trillions, not billions” before they'll OK increase in federal debt ceiling … But he loves dumb blondes: Kevin Allen, a black contestant on “The Apprentice” who was fired by Donald Trump, tells Talking Points Memo that Trump “doesn't like educated African-Americans very much” … “Kicker” reform kicked aside: Measure to put half of Oregon's “kicker” tax refund into rainy-day fund gets sidetracked in state Senate; fate uncertain.

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