Amy Alkon
Posted inCulture

The Fillet Of The Land & Truth Be Trolled

A first date should be an opportunity to get acquainted — with you, that is, not wine from Napoleon’s private stock and steak from a cow that attended French boarding school.
Amy Alkon

The Fillet Of The Land I’m a 36-year-old single man. I see buying a woman dinner as a nice part of courting. Lately, however, women keep pretending to be interested in me only to vanish after I’ve taken them out for an expensive dinner. How can I avoid women who just want to use me […]

Posted inCulture

Baptism By Liar and Done Juan

On the upside, he isn’t afraid to express his feelings.
Amy Alkon

Baptism by Liar I was talking with this guy whom I’ve known for over six years who lives a plane ride away. It was late at night on a weekend, and he was saying all this mushy sexy stuff and how he wanted to fly me out to his city, blah, blah, blah. Afterward, he […]

Posted inCulture

The Pathogen Of Least Resistance

Science & Advice Goddess Amy Alkon’s weekly advice column
Amy Alkon

I live with my girlfriend, who’s really picky about how clean and tidy the house has to be. God forbid I put a bowl on the dish rack that isn’t perfectly immaculate or leave tiny bits of hair in the sink after I shave. She gets totally grossed out by small things that I don’t think […]

Posted inCulture

Sotally Tober & A Body At Rust

Amy Alkon

Sotally Tober I spent years on and off drugs and alcohol, but I’ve been sober for six years. I’m just not the same self-centered immature brat I was. Last week, I reached out to my best friend’s brother to apologize for things I did about seven years ago. He still hasn’t responded to my text […]

Posted inCulture

Sister Knives & As Fade Would Have It

Amy Alkon

Sister Knives My sister dates super hot guys, but she’s always telling me that looks aren’t what matter and I should go for a man who’s stable and reliable. Is she looking out for me? How come she doesn’t follow her own advice? It seems weirdly hypocritical. —Puzzled Charmingly, the men your sister picks for […]

Posted inCulture

Having It All & Meek My Day

Amy Alkon

Having It All I’m a 6’2″ woman. What’s the ideal way for me to respond when people (almost always men and total strangers) ask, out of the blue, “How does a woman your height find boyfriends?” —Annoyed I’d opt for the macabre approach, delivered totally deadpan: “Actually, I stretch short men on a rack in […]

Posted inCulture

Tales From The Lopside

Amy Alkon

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship (for almost four years) that works very well, talking daily and seeing each other every two months. The problem is that it feels like he has much more love for me than I have for him. (He’s totally head over heels and expresses this constantly.) I […]

Posted inCulture

Pimp My Rite and Tents Situation

Amy Alkon

Pimp My Rite My boyfriend dumped me and moved out of our place. I’m on the lease and can’t afford to break it, but it still feels like “our place,” and that’s making it hard to move on. My hippie friend said I should burn sage or light a candle and do a “letting go” […]

Posted inCulture

Twisted Sisterhood & Coy Story

Amy Alkon

Twisted Sisterhood I’m a grown woman in the middle of a feud between two of my female friends. They’re both complaining to me, and I’m just responding “uh-huh” to give them the hint that I don’t want to be involved. Neither’s catching on. How do I get out of the middle of this spat without […]

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