Rags Against The Machine I’m a slim woman in my early 40s—successful in my field—and I am always in jeans, a vintage ripped t-shirt, and boots. I mean, ALWAYS. Granted, I have an extremely expensive handbag and perfectly highlighted blonde hair, and I always wear winged eyeliner. My friends say that going “underdressed” like this […]
Amy Alkon
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There’s Something About Marriott
I‘m a married lesbian. Yesterday on the phone, my wife invited her sister to spend the night (in our small one-bedroom apartment) without asking me. When I confronted her, saying it’s OUR home, she said, “It’s my sister!” Family’s very important to her, and her sister didn’t come, so I let it go. But what’s […]
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Android Rage and Taking Care Of Buzzness
Android Rage I’m so tired of these supposed magician multitaskers on their cellphones. The guy I’m dating and some of my friends don’t seem to get how disrespectful it feels when they play around on their phone or text while I’m talking to them. Am I crazy to want eye contact and attention when I’m […]
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The Litter Mermaid
I’m not the best housekeeper or the tidiest person. I’ve got papers everywhere, dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, and an unmade bed. I have a very long-haired cat who leaves fur everywhere. I joke to men that “fighting entropy is a losing battle,” but I’m starting to wonder whether my messy place […]
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Crone’s Disease
Crone’s Disease I’m a straight single woman nearing 50. My best friends are a lesbian couple. I’m going to get some nonsurgical skin tightening on my face, and they got very judgmental about it: “We think you’re beautiful as you are.” Next, it was “What if it goes wrong?” and “Will you keep getting procedures […]
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Eye Anxiety and Who’ll Stop The Reign?
Eye Anxiety I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. I thought I was super happy, but I recently got a crush on a co-worker. Now I’m worried that maybe I’m not totally satisfied in my relationship. If I were truly in love with my boyfriend, why would I be crushing on somebody else? Does […]
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Between A Squawk And A Hard Place and Fairy Bail Romance
Between A Squawk And A Hard Place I’m a 32-year-old gay man, and my boyfriend of three years sometimes vents to his friends about our relationship. I feel a little betrayed by this—like my privacy’s being violated. Why can’t he figure things out on his own—without bringing in a jury? —Disturbed A few years back, […]
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A Hard Yuck Story and A Scar Is Born
A Hard Yuck Story I’m a 34-year-old struggling comic. My girlfriend is a 29-year-old children’s therapist. We’ve been together for a year. She wants to move in with me, wants me to meet her parents — adult relationship stuff that I don’t feel ready for now. I love her, but I live in a studio […]
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Youth Hostile
I’m a 35-year-old woman who’s been married for a year to a 70-year-old man. My husband’s closest female friend is also one of his exes. He’s known her for 40 years. She’s a real sore point for me. She stayed at our apartment while we were away. She wouldn’t reply to any of my emails […]
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No Girls Allowed and What’s Not To Lick
No Girls Allowed I’m a female comic, so being smart and funny and having a strong personality is basically my job, as well as who I am. A friend had me stop by his business meeting at a cafe so he could introduce me to his client he was hoping to set me up with. […]