Amy Alkon
Posted inCulture

Pouter Keg

There will sometimes be reasons you are unable to communicate using the spoken word: Your jaw is wired shut. You are gagged with duct tape. A wizard has turned you into a cocker spaniel.
Amy Alkon

Pouter Keg My girlfriend, who’d been traveling, lost track of what day it was and was surprised when I showed up on the usual night I come cook her dinner. She was happy to see me but said she needed to finish this one “urgent work email.” How nice. Dinner would get cold while she […]

Posted inCulture

Codger and Me and Can’t Bi Me Love

It’s no surprise some of your older co-workers smear you as a “bad millennial.” You’re younger and cheaper to keep around, and the hair on your head isn’t there thanks to a Groupon for Dr. Hair Plugs.
Amy Alkon

Codger and Me I’m a 22-year-old guy, but I look 14. Boomer co-workers often use me as an example of a bad millennial, attacking me for Dread Smartphone Overuse (conveniently forgetting that our work requires phone use for comms). Older co-workers often launch into unsolicited 40-minute lectures on the “college path” I should take. (Already […]

Posted inCulture

Swarm Feelings and Dead Wait

The first few dates are the free trial period of romantic relationships. Think of it like accepting a sample of lox spread at Costco.
Amy Alkon

Swarm Feelings I’ve been flirting with two guys all year. I feel a connection and chemistry with both, but neither’s asked me out yet. This weekend, I’m attending a going-away party of a grad student we all know, and I’m nervous that they’ll both show up and ask me out. (There’s also a third guy […]

Posted inCulture

Having It Small

It can be really romantic to spend the entire weekend in bed with a man—but only when you don’t have to spend every other day of the month there, too.
Amy Alkon

I met somebody online, and we have a real connection, but he is agoraphobic and hasn’t really left his bedroom for 10 years. I have a job and a life, so it’s hard to keep up with his barrage of messages. However, it seems unfair to bail on dating him just because he has this […]

Posted inCulture

To Mush Information and The Benefits of Exorcise

We have this notion that it’s really romantic for a couple to say “I love you” pronto.
Amy Alkon

Too Mush Information My friend was dying to tell her new boyfriend she loves him but waited till he said it first. She, in fact, makes that a rule. Now I have a new boyfriend. Should I just shamelessly own my feelings—that is, tell him I love him? Or should I follow my friend’s lead? […]

Posted inCulture

Power Tulle

Though we’re living in modern times, we’re still driven by Stone Age psychology.
Amy Alkon

Why are there lots of bridal magazines but no magazines for grooms? What does that imply? —A Male Consider men’s general lack of interest in wedding planning. Of course, if men did the organizing, there’d probably be a paintball duel to the altar, strippers serving nachos, and a minister who ends the ceremony with: “You […]

Posted inCulture

Seize The Meh and Give Pizza A Chance

These days, your relationships probably start when you eyeball a woman on the street: “Whoa! I bet she’d be seriously mediocre in bed!”
Amy Alkon

I’m a 31-year-old guy who got really hurt after a relationship ended a few years back. Now I just don’t date women whom I’ll ever really care about because I don’t ever want to feel how I felt when my previous relationship ended. My friends say I’m being a coward and missing out, but, hey, […]

Posted inCulture

Buddha Heat and In The Mood For Shrug

The good news is, there’s a way to perk up the sexual excitement level in a long-term relationship, and it doesn’t involve attending parties where they have a bowl of keys at the door.
Amy Alkon

My husband and I are lucky— like that couple in their 70s you wrote about—to have a satisfying sex life after 23 years together. Still, to be honest, there are times when we’re just going through the motions. I guess it’s natural that it isn’t as exciting as it was that first year or so. […]

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