I’m a married lesbian in my 50s. I blew up my happy marriage by having an affair with somebody I didn’t love and wasn’t even that attracted to. Now my wife, whom I love very much, is divorcing me. Why did I cheat on her? I don’t understand my own behavior. —Lost There are those […]
Amy Alkon
Posted inCulture
Advice Goddess: Nose To The Groin Stone
Making sure you’re clear about that “friend zone.”
Nose To The Groin Stone I’m a woman, and I recently made a new professional connection — a man who’s excited about my work. We’re planning on doing a big important project together. I’m worried that he’s interested in me romantically (based on a few things he’s said). I’m not interested in him in that […]
Posted inCulture
Advice Goddess: Destiny’s Problem Child | Missed Connections
Is “Love at first sight” a real thing? And what happens if you miss your connection?
I saw this gorgeous girl at the coffeehouse at the mall two months ago. It was totally love at first sight. I keep hanging out there hoping to see her again. Am I nuts, or does love at first sight really exist? — Smitten It’s so special when a man tells a woman he’s deeply […]
Posted inCulture
Advice Goddess: Wedding Duress
I‘ve been living with my high-school sweetheart (from 20 years ago) for two blissful years. However, he’s still married to his ex (though they’ve been separated for 10 years). Every dollar he has goes into the business he’s building or child support, so I’m paying all the bills. I want to get married and start […]
Posted inCulture
Advice Goddess: Reign Of Terrier
I know humans are typically your subject, but this is a relationship question, so I hope you’ll consider answering it. I have a new puppy (an 8-pound terrier mutt). I eventually want her to sleep in bed with me. However, she’s not toilet-trained yet, so I “crate” her at night in the laundry room (in […]
Posted inCulture
Advice: Romancing The Grindstone
How to have a relationship when you’re chained (willingly) to your desk
Romancing The Grindstone I’m a 32-year-old woman with a really intense job that I love. I work long hours and I often work weekends, too — by choice. I don’t want kids, but I’d love to have a relationship. I just worry that guys will want more of me timewise and energywise than I can […]
Posted inCulture
Advice Goddess: Pic Me!
Pic Me! I’m a newly divorced woman trying some online dating sites. Because I read your column, I understand how men prioritize beauty. I’m an attractive woman, but I often photograph terribly, and I’m thinking of spending some money and having a professional photographer shoot some pix in a studio. Would this be a good […]
Posted inCulture
Advice Goddess: Wipe That Green Off Your Face
I’m a very envious person, though I don’t act on it (meaning I don’t try to mess things up for people who are doing well). Where does envy stem from? How can I get rid of it? —Begrudging Woman You see a friend achieving some success and you say, “So happy for you. Well-deserved!”— which […]
Posted inCulture
Pay Pal: When Does Some “Sugar” Translate to a Sugar Daddy?
Pay Pal An older male friend keeps paying for me — buying me meals and clothes. Am I making a mistake in accepting? I’ve repeatedly made clear that I have no romantic interest in him. I’m a struggling artist, and he’s highly successful. We’re basically BFFs, talking and laughing every day. He occasionally jokes that […]
Posted inCulture
Advice Goddess: Sparks And Recreation & Mood Poisoning
Sparks And Recreation I am a 32-year-old woman who has never been in a relationship with a man I’m actually attracted to. The men I’ve ended up with really pursued me, and they were all smart, funny, and kind, so I thought it was shallow not to date them because I wasn’t that into their […]