Editorial

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from YouTube, where kicks in the groin, hoaxes, and crap artists are encouraged, yet criticism of YouTube and current healthcare – symbolized by water sports as our shared bondage – are flagged for “violating community guidelines,” on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
Let's Get HI!
Why we elected Obama at last emerged when the administration informed US Attorney Generals to not prosecute stoners in states who really, really need weed for, um, cataracts and bad muscles, and, yah, I was driving down Greenwood and this bike was on the sidewalk and I was like “Whoa dude! You're riding a bike and I'm driving and that's so cool cuz we're both going in the same direction!” And then that song by Neil Young came on about the river and I was singing and then the cop said…

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from a place called Narnia, where a lion rules, this evil witch is everywhere, yet Viggo Mortensen is nowhere to be found, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
Liar Liar
Richard Strandlof has led quite a life: At the Pentagon on 9-11 when it was attacked, surviving again when a bomb went off in Iraq (four of his fellow Marines weren't so lucky), living with a metal plate in his head and starting a charity to help other injured vets. Except none of it happened; Strandlof now faces charges of “stolen valor” (akin to Cheney but Iraq-status-justice) – including up to a year in prison and $100,000 fine. On 9-11, he was actually in a San Jose, CA, homeless shelter, and never served in the military; still he formed the Colorado Veterans Alliance, and appeared with at least one politician hoping to benefit from Strandlof's heroism. “Hopefully the people that I hurt can in some way gain closure from that, and I myself don't know what I can do, short of leaving them alone and not being in their lives, to make that happen,” somewhat-apologized Strandlof. Didn't disgraced Samurais fall on their swords? Give this guy a dull butter knife, or 10 minutes in a locked room with real Marines.

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from Washington D.C., trying to filter politicians from panhandlers and lobbyists, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
It's 2:15am, Do You Know Where Your Health Care Is?
In a dumpster, with Max Baucus' ethics and his industry contributors/cronies, of course. When the Senate Finance Committee completed overturning any amendments to chairman Max Baucus' (D-Montana) health care “reform” last Friday (@ 2:15am – Wow! They worked hard!) any hopes of a public option ended. Or did they? This is politics at its prettiest: Inside sources (I am in D.C. after all) have backroom deals attaching a public option to a bill for new TARP Funds (you know, those highly effective bailout dollars to needy firms like Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase et al). Don't wait in the ER for coverage, yet, but Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) is promising a public option in any final bill; meanwhile, ever-effective House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-California) has ruled out co-ops (basically a big lottery against any of us getting cancer or crashing our cars) in her bills. Who will win? Reid, the former boxer, or Pelosi, the daughter of a politician who deserved her job? One last thing that may interest hardcore party hawks: Amendments to add a public option were voted down by party-lines, putting GOP'ers on the record as opposing any chance at true reform. Add to this their opposition to Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor and you have Republicans as popular at the polls as a cold-sore at a kissing booth.

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from a Peanut Festival (where else?), wondering about allergies and, more so, the Polish sausage he just inhaled, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
Osama, You're Next!
So maybe he did have sex with a 13-year-old girl and plead guilty to it in 1977, then fled to France so he wouldn't have to serve any time. But he couldn't accept his Oscar for Best Director for “The Pianist” in 2003 for fear of arrest – wasn't that punishment enough? Guess not: Someone in bankrupt and burning California (where teens having sex with actors is suddenly taboo) took the time to regularly track Polanski's whereabouts until, at last, the director was taken into custody while flying into Switzerland on Saturday. Of course France (where sex with minors is deemed chic) still sides with Polanski – an even dirtier old man at 76, however talented – with the country's culture minister citing the director's “exceptional artistic creation and human qualities.” Up Next: Michael Bay is arrested for “Pearl Harbor” and “Transformers 2.”

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from where your relatives and America started – Jamestown, Williamsburg, and Yorktown, Virginia – on assignment for Or-Bust.

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from the Adirondack front porch where U.