Editorial
Posted inOpinion

We Sold Our Souls For Rock and Roll: Gonzo at Wal-Mart, mud flap sales and Scientology

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from the catwalk at the
Eric Flowers

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from the catwalk at the annual fashion show in La Pine, wearing a tube-top, cutoff jeans shorts and cowboy boots, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.

And the Winner is…
Forget Simon, let's talk Sonia-Federal Judge Sonia Sotomayor, that is, who was nominated on Monday by President Obama to replace David Souter on the U.S. Supreme Court. If her controversial same-sex marriage decision in Rocky v. Bullwinkle and those pictures of her eating a pickle don't come to light, Judge Sotomayor will become the first Hispanic and third female U.S. Supreme Court justice. "An inspiring woman who I believe will make a great justice." lauded Obama while introducing Judge Sotomayor's nomination. A case surely to hit the new justice's desk will be the California Supreme Court's upholding of a voter-approved ban on same-sex unions, which allows existing same-sex marriages to remain legal (how's that for confusing?). As Sotomayor's nomination was announced, nearby, former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales wiped away a tear, mumbled something incoherent, then returned to stocking shelves at Wal-Mart.

Posted inOpinion

Imperfect Progress on Skyline Forest

Skyline Forest from Bend German statesman Otto von Bismarck defined politics as “the art of the possible.” American economist John Kenneth Galbraith disagreed. “Politics is
Eric Flowers

Skyline Forest from Bend German statesman Otto von Bismarck defined politics as "the art of the possible." American economist John Kenneth Galbraith disagreed. "Politics is not the art of the possible," he said. "It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable."

Considering the fate of Skyline Forest, the Oregon House faced a choice between the disastrous - doing nothing and potentially allowing the almost 33,000-acre tract to be clear-cut or chopped up - and the unpalatable - passing a bill that would allow development of part of the forest in exchange for protecting the rest. Wisely, it chose the second option.
For years, the Deschutes Land Trust has been trying to acquire Skyline Forest - less picturesquely known as the Bull Springs Tree Farm - to preserve it for its recreation and scenic values. The land, owned by Fidelity National Timber Resources, is zoned for exclusive forest use, preventing its development. But it could be carved up into small private parcels, restricting public access. Or Fidelity or some future owner could simply bring in the bulldozers and chainsaws.

Posted inOpinion

We Need A New Drug: Deliberate distractions, ailing insurance giants and more!

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from a closed car dealership,
Eric Flowers

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from a closed car dealership, turning lemons into lemonade, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.

Muscle Cars Are Awesome
"Everything's possible when we're working together, and we're off to a great start," offered President Obama during a speech announcing new fuel economy standards on Tuesday (while also thanking the many auto execs and "outstanding elected leaders and appointees" in attendance). Kicking his environmental aims into overdrive, Obama is insisting on higher CAFÉ standards of 35.5 MPG (39 for cars and 30 for trucks) by 2016 – four years earlier than previously planned. This will cut national oil demand by eight billion gallons annually, slash greenhouse gases by one-third, and make GM look even more inept for creating Hummer while shuttering Saturn. Fear always helps in selling such policies, and Obama has framed the new standards as essential for national security, then dismissed the additional $600 per car by invoking idealism, saying that the program should pay for itself in three years. Ever hopeful, the plan is based on figures from 2016 (Obama does have time-traveling powers, if you don't know), when gas will cost $3.50 per gallon, cats and dogs will be lovers, and Exxon-Mobil has our best interests at heart.

Posted inOpinion

Killing OSU-Cascades: A Dumb Move

Ever since the Cascades Campus of Oregon State University was founded in 2001 it’s been treated like the ugly stepchild of the state higher education
Eric Flowers

Ever since the Cascades Campus of Oregon State University was founded in 2001 it's been treated like the ugly stepchild of the state higher education system - unwanted, undernourished and unloved.

Now, with the economy still tanking and a budget shortfall of more than $4 billion looming over the next two years, there are those in the state legislature who want to kick the stepchild out of the house. That would be a huge mistake, both now and in the long run.
Although so far it hasn't lived up to the early enrollment projections - in part because the state provided only half as much money for it as it originally promised - OSU-Cascades already is giving hundreds of Central and Eastern Oregon students a higher education opportunity they probably wouldn't have otherwise.

Posted inOpinion

Stiegler’s Concealed-Carry Compromise

Ever since Oregon’s public records law was passed some 40 years ago, special interests have been nibbling holes in it. This week, with the help
Eric Flowers

Ever since Oregon's public records law was passed some 40 years ago, special interests have been nibbling holes in it. This week, with the help of Rep. Judy Stiegler of Bend, the legislature bit off another chunk.

Stiegler issued a press release on Monday talking about her role in the passage of HB 2727, a bill that would create an exemption from the law for information about holders of concealed handgun licenses (CHLs).
Sheriffs in counties across Oregon, including Deschutes, have been simply flouting the public records law and refusing requests by reporters for information about concealed-carry permits. This legislation essentially throws a cloak of legality over what the sheriffs have been doing illegally.

Posted inOpinion

We Need More Ammo: Lead shortages, libraries, Jack Kemp sacked, and Souter

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting on hedge-funding the ‘Green’ movement,
Eric Flowers

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting on hedge-funding the 'Green' movement, and stealing advertisers from the Boston Globe while on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.

Never speak ill of the deadThankfully,
Obama's Recession
Hasn't Hurt Bush
107 days and counting, it is amazing how Obama has utterly ruined our country - the economy sucks, the CIA tortures, exotic flus are spreading, Joe Biden can't shut-up… Gracefully, the president who handed our country over to this Socialism semi-Muslim is still doing swell; George W. Bush has already raised $100 million for his Presidential Library, planned to open on Southern Methodist University's campus in Dallas by 2013 when the shredding is completed. Pitched to donors as a place to "further the domestic and international goals of the Bush administration," the library will contain no books, pictures, or documents, but rather house a total of 911 American flags and the souls of all who worked in the White House from 2001-2008. Two notes: Bill Clinton didn't hit the $100 hallmark until well into his second year of fundraising for his own brothel, err, library in Arkansas, and Bush can thank the same friends who made his two terms so successful; Texas oilman Donald Evans chairs the library foundation – one of the seven total Americans who benefited from eight years of Bush, a president who left office with a favorability rating of 22%, and still believes that "history will vindicate" him.

Posted inOpinion

The Downtown Anti-Panhandler Crusade

When you fall on hard times, it’s always tempting to look for someone other than yourself – your financial adviser, your banker, the brother-in-law who
Eric Flowers

When you fall on hard times, it's always tempting to look for someone other than yourself - your financial adviser, your banker, the brother-in-law who told you to put all your money in GM stock - to blame the fall on. Now that Bend's downtown is hurting, the search for scapegoats is on. The latest candidate: panhandlers.
The Bend City Council has asked City Attorney Mary Winters to look into legal ways that the city can deal with the perceived panhandling problem. This came in response to a complaint from a local merchant who thought people standing out on the sidewalk asking for money could be hurting business.
Some councilors agreed with her, including Tom Greene, who was quoted as saying, "I've had a lot of people say it makes them uncomfortable to go downtown."

Posted inOpinion

Earthquakes, Outbreaks and Fly Overs: The Flu Pandemic, NFL Draft, Specter vs. Spector, and more!

Suck on this, swine!The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting far from
Eric Flowers

Suck on this, swine!The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting far from you, civilization, and other swine, hoarding water and Ramen Noodles, hoping Brad Pitt arrives soon (with Angelina) so they may build the prettier, more humanitarian yet sexy society we all deserve, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
Empty Soccer Stadiums, Facemasks, 12 Monkeys…
Pity the pigs, forever linked to the contagious flu that utterly destroyed mankind in late April 2009. Better yet, blame the Mexicans, who we've been scapegoating so well and so long for taking the jobs we suddenly want and ingesting our pollution. Our finest export since Agent Orange, Corporate Agra has really pulled a doozy this time (note: Monsanto did not approve this column) as the death toll is climbing into the hundreds (though 3,000 die each day from Malaria); Mexico City resembles the set of 28 Days Later, schools are closed till early May, and New York is now an incubator for the rage virus. Adding insult to injury, a major earthquake struck near Acapulco on Monday, then a look-alike of Air Force One buzzed New York Harbor (see below). On a conspiracy-related note: How convenient is it that an exotic and rapidly mutating virus is said to be spreading, just as GM announces it will close factories for over a month and kill Pontiac, Pakistan is about to fall to the Taliban (nukes included), the Jets draft another dud while my Bills took two solid Oregonians, and Ashton Kutcher keeps getting in the news for Twittering? Ask yourself, are these mere coincidences or divine intervention?

Posted inOpinion

“Green” Developers’ Scorched-Earth Tactics

Eric Flowers

To hear the developers of the Metolian tell it, they're the greenest, tree-huggingest, Earth-lovingest guys who ever walked the planet.

But the tactics the developers and their supporters have been employing look more like a scorched-earth policy. They seem to have adopted William Tecumseh Sherman as their role model instead of John Muir.
A little background: The Metolian is the smaller of two destination resorts originally proposed for development within the Metolius Basin. Responding to the pleas of thousands of lovers of this irreplaceable scenic, recreational and ecological resource, Gov. Ted Kulongoski asked the state Land Conservation and Development Commission to draw up a plan for its protection.
The LCDC plan would allow limited development of both resorts within the basin in exchange for the rights to put larger resorts outside it. Ponderosa Land and Cattle Co., the owner of the land where the bigger resort was supposed to go, apparently feels it can live with that deal. But Dutch Pacific Resources LLC, which wants to develop the Metolian, is fighting the plan because it would be able to build only two residences in the basin if a site can be found elsewhere for its "eco-resort."

Posted inOpinion

Take A Memo: Our favorite interrogations, Chavez’s handshake, Cletus, and more

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from a garbage dump, after
Eric Flowers

The author has been sent on the road to discover a lost country formerly known as America. He is reporting from a garbage dump, after cleaning up cigarette butts, patchouli packaging, and signage from recent "Earth Day" events statewide, on assignment for Or-Bust.com and The Source Weekly.
Waterboarded, How Many Times?
"If you look at what this really comprises, if you look at the documents that have been made public, it says 'top secret' at the top. The definition of top secret is information which, if revealed, would cause grave harm to U.S. security." offered former CIA top-snoop-chief Michael Hayden, when informed that the Obama Administration has released details of top secret (i.e. over-the-top) interrogation (= torture) techniques. Among the memos released was the disturbing acknowledgement that two top al Qaeda suspects were waterboarded at least 266 times. 266 - one was drowned (all in jest) for over 30 seconds at a time. Good thing Bush reassured us that "America does not torture." While releasing the memos, Obama staffers noted that those involved in the actual techniques should not be prosecuted yet deftly did not include immunity for those who drafted the techniques, like Hayden, John Yoo, and others in the Bush-Cheney junta all too eager to cite "security" and "terror" as reasons why BDSM at the CIA should go undisclosed.

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