Technobabble: fading further out of the electronic age

This week I attended a gathering that further helped me realize that I am ill suited for the electronic age. Not only am I a luddite but also not the least bit interested in wasting my time trying to keep up with the latest electronic gadgets, gizmos and stuff. Shame on me.

The event that spurred these thoughts was a photographer’s gathering at which a presentation was made by one of the major camera manufacturer’s technical representative. In this case, a representative who wisely surmised that his audience the evening in question was less interested in photography than they were in camera gear technology.

The rep launched into a two and a half hour stream of technobabble which was greeted as if it were the sermon on the mount. I expected a few “amens” to come out of the mouths of the disciples or maybe a few “preach on” calls but none were forthcoming. The disciples of tech were just too awed.

As was I. I was awed by the fact that a good portion of the sermon/technobabble sailed way over my head and got me looking over my tech-bereft life.

Am I on pins a needles waiting to get my hands on an iPAD? No. Am I still using a seven-year old cell phone? Yes. Do I lust after an iPHONE? No. Do I think Facebook, as Betty White so elegantly put it on Saturday Night Live is, “a waste of time?” Yes. Do I Tweet? No. Do I have any desire to Tweet? No. Do I drive a stick shift vehicle totally void of electronics? Yes. Do I use about 1/10th of the potential of my laptop? Yes.

So there you have it. I am a lost soul in this brave new world. And to think I once sold large- scale computers to Fortune 500 companies.

I was hip then. Now I’m going the way of the Dodo.

As I head towards obsolescence, I plan to drive my stick shift Ford pickup down to buy a new battery so my cell phone will continue to work for another seven years. Then I plan to sell all my digital SLR camera gear and get a point and shoot, foolproof camera.

I’ll take some pictures and have (gasp)prints made at Costco. I’ll post the prints with magnets on my refrigerator door or pop them in the mail to send to friends and relatives.

Then I’ll get out my old manual typewriter and write about this soul cleansing experience.

This article appears in May 20-26, 2010.