News came out yesterday that the 2010 Beard Team USA Nationals will be held here in Bend, Oregon and itโs more or less the only thing people have been talking to me about since.
Why?
Well, probably because beards are the most important thing to touch the human face since the death mask of Agamemnon, thatโs why. And for mustaches, you ask? Well the mustache used the last few years of the past decade to transform its reputation from the calling card look for cops, Spaniards and men driving windowless vans in search of errant kittens to a cool-if-you-can-pull-it-off hipster accessory.
So the state of facial hair is STQS (pronounced โSticksโ and meaning Strong To Quite Strong), especially in Bend where few men let their cheeks or upper lips go bare come winter. I catalogued this phenomenon in a feature for the Source last year and it seems like the winter of 2009/2010 is proving to rather beardy as well.
If you want to compete, you better already have a good base going, because these guys are serious. Just check this out this parade from the Word Championships held this past May in Anchorage, Alaska.
Rumor has it that Todd Palinโs goatee won โ not because itโs particularly stylish, but because he ran over all the other competitors with his snowmobile. Or something like that.
This article appears in Jan 7-13, 2010.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=081dHOYY6IE
Other cities get the Olympics, the World Series and the Super Bowl; we get the National Beard Championship. Figures.
Yeah, why DON’T we have the World Series? Oh yeah, right…this is Bend, Oregon.
Didn’t we just have the Cross Nats? This seems like a good counterpoint to me. I think Karl has lost his sense of humor, not to mention his beardliness.