Sotally Tober I spent years on and off drugs and alcohol, but I’ve been sober for six years. I’m just not the same self-centered immature brat I was. Last week, I reached out to my best friend’s brother to apologize for things I did about seven years ago. He still hasn’t responded to my text […]
Advice
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Sister Knives & As Fade Would Have It
Sister Knives My sister dates super hot guys, but she’s always telling me that looks aren’t what matter and I should go for a man who’s stable and reliable. Is she looking out for me? How come she doesn’t follow her own advice? It seems weirdly hypocritical. —Puzzled Charmingly, the men your sister picks for […]
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Having It All & Meek My Day
Having It All I’m a 6’2″ woman. What’s the ideal way for me to respond when people (almost always men and total strangers) ask, out of the blue, “How does a woman your height find boyfriends?” —Annoyed I’d opt for the macabre approach, delivered totally deadpan: “Actually, I stretch short men on a rack in […]
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Twisted Sisterhood & Coy Story
Twisted Sisterhood I’m a grown woman in the middle of a feud between two of my female friends. They’re both complaining to me, and I’m just responding “uh-huh” to give them the hint that I don’t want to be involved. Neither’s catching on. How do I get out of the middle of this spat without […]
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Rags Against The Machine & Eye Will Always Love You
Rags Against The Machine I’m a slim woman in my early 40s—successful in my field—and I am always in jeans, a vintage ripped t-shirt, and boots. I mean, ALWAYS. Granted, I have an extremely expensive handbag and perfectly highlighted blonde hair, and I always wear winged eyeliner. My friends say that going “underdressed” like this […]
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There’s Something About Marriott
I‘m a married lesbian. Yesterday on the phone, my wife invited her sister to spend the night (in our small one-bedroom apartment) without asking me. When I confronted her, saying it’s OUR home, she said, “It’s my sister!” Family’s very important to her, and her sister didn’t come, so I let it go. But what’s […]
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Android Rage and Taking Care Of Buzzness
Android Rage I’m so tired of these supposed magician multitaskers on their cellphones. The guy I’m dating and some of my friends don’t seem to get how disrespectful it feels when they play around on their phone or text while I’m talking to them. Am I crazy to want eye contact and attention when I’m […]
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The Litter Mermaid
I’m not the best housekeeper or the tidiest person. I’ve got papers everywhere, dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, and an unmade bed. I have a very long-haired cat who leaves fur everywhere. I joke to men that “fighting entropy is a losing battle,” but I’m starting to wonder whether my messy place […]
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Crone’s Disease
Crone’s Disease I’m a straight single woman nearing 50. My best friends are a lesbian couple. I’m going to get some nonsurgical skin tightening on my face, and they got very judgmental about it: “We think you’re beautiful as you are.” Next, it was “What if it goes wrong?” and “Will you keep getting procedures […]
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A Hard Yuck Story and A Scar Is Born
A Hard Yuck Story I’m a 34-year-old struggling comic. My girlfriend is a 29-year-old children’s therapist. We’ve been together for a year. She wants to move in with me, wants me to meet her parents — adult relationship stuff that I don’t feel ready for now. I love her, but I live in a studio […]