Left Field

It's the Super Bowl this weekend, and while we can't
predict what will happen in the game - who knows, maybe the officials
will throw another championship to the Steelers (yes, Left Field is
still bitter about the Seahawks getting screwed in '06) - but we can
foresee a few events that will absolutely happen at your Super Bowl
Party.

1) Someone will bring a six-pack of Coors Light and one of your beer snob friends will lambaste them for it.
2)
One of your friends will spend the first quarter feeling out which team
the majority of partygoers are backing and spend the rest of the game
arbitrarily rooting on the opposite squad. Violence will ensue.
3) You will eat chili, Velveeta or a combination of the two.
4)
No less than four partygoers will find themselves horribly drunk by the
end of the game and have the worst Monday of their lives.

There were some unhappy faces at the Left Field desk on New Year's
Eve day as we sat unhappily clanking away at the keyboard as the Sun
Bowl kicked off in El Paso, Texas where Oregon State was taking on 20th
ranked Pittsburgh. The Beavers were playing in a bowl game and we were
at work; an injustice of the highest sorts.

But the fears of
missing out on one of our region's biggest games of the year were
quickly quelled when we accidentally came across the final score - OSU
3, Pitt 0. Three points in 60 minutes of play…that's it. It might as
well have been a soccer game. There might as well have been
unintelligible chants emanating from the mouths of scarf-wearing,
confetti-tossing fans. The players might have well spent several
minutes of the game rolling on the ground holding their shins- we doubt
anyone would have noticed.

The dust has settled on one of the most tumultuous college football seasons with Oklahoma and Florida emerging from the morass of qualified one-loss teams to compete for the so-called national title. Of course, USC, Texas Tech, Alabama and, particularly, Texas, might beg to differ with the selection of the Sooners and the Gators for the national title game.

Left Field had just stepped out of the shower and was in the middle
of stirring up a Pepto-Bismol and 7-Up cocktail (we like to call it a
"Kansas City Mimosa") to both shake off a Thanksgiving Eve hangover as
well as prep the stomach for the near-fatal amount of holiday foods it
would be encountering later in the afternoon when we sat down for some
Thanksgiving day football. But when we turned on the tube, only about
half an hour after the posted kickoff of the Lions/Titans game in
Detroit, the game was pretty much over.
The Titans jumped out to
a 28-0 lead in the first quarter and it was clear that the miraculously
inept Lions would have no chance of tightening the game. As thus we
flip channels through parades, feel-good Lifetime channel movies and
the Weather Channel, all of which were more entertaining than the game
happening in Detroit.

The snowball that is coaches and other big-wigs calling for a Division I college football playoff is getting bigger by the week, and the Big 12 Conference this season is making a case for a playoff all by itself.
This after a weekend that saw then No.

For new Oregon State head basketball coach Craig Robinson, helping his
brother-in-law win the presidency of the United States is going to seem
like a piece of cake compared to trying to win a Pac 10 conference
basketball game this season - let alone a championship.

Robinson -
Michelle Obama's brother - inherited a team that went 0-18 in
conference play last season and won only six of the 31 games it played.
Unfortunately for the Beavers last year, they weren't able to give a
concession speech mid-way through the season when they realized the
race was over.

It was a scene right out of Pop Warner football. A player makes a good play, then commits a dumb penalty and the coach summons him to the sideline for an earful.

The
player's benched. He pouts a little bit. And after the coach has some
time to think, tells the player, "You know what. Why don't you head on
home. I don't want you on the field right now."
Except on Sunday,
this wasn't Pop Warner football. It was new San Francisco 49ers Head
Coach Mike Singletary putting his stamp on the woeful team he inherited
after coach Mike Nolan was fired.
The moment of clarity for
Singletary happened after 49er tight end Vernon Davis caught a short
pass in a game the 49ers were losing to Seattle. After the play, the
Seahawks defender started chirping and Davis slapped his facemask,
drawing a 15-yard personal foul penalty.
Singletary benched Davis
after the play. According to ESPN.com, Singletary told his oft-troubled
tight end, "I told him that he would do a better job for us right now
taking a shower and coming back and watching the game than going out on
the field. Simple as that."

After reading Mike Bookey's guest Left Field rant last week, I had to pull back and contemplate the relationship between my Fantasy Fandom and my real life Fandom.
What I've realized is that Books is right.

I've been asked by the Left Field department to share my views on
fantasy football and I'm glad to do it because fantasy football is
eating up sports fans and turning them into soulless statistic chomping
geeks.
Last Sunday, I was jumping up and down in my sweatpants,
spilling PBR Light (I'm watching my figure) all over the place as
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan sent a 26-yard bomb spiraling
into the hands of receiver Michael Jenkins, who stepped out of bounds
with one second left.

There's plenty to catch up on in the sports world.
Baseball playoffs are in full swing (no pun intended) with Boston
securing the final spot in the championship series on Monday night with
an extra innings win over Anaheim, most NFL teams are nearly a third of
a way through the season, the NHL officially starts domestic play on
Thursday night and the NBA preseason is just getting underway. But
that's not what Left Field is tuned into this week. No our attention
was fixed on the world of mixed martial arts (i.e. ultimate, i.e. cage)
fighting where former street fighter, porn industry body guard and
Internet sensation Kimbo Slice was cut down just 14 seconds into a
match with a stand-in fighter on network television.