My wife is really into the holidays. We celebrate Christmas in a very big way. She says she loves the whole thing – the decorating, shopping, wrapping, even getting boxes ready to ship. I try to believe her, but she seems incredibly stressed from Thanksgiving til Christmas. This means that she doesn’t have any energy […]
Dr. Jane Guyn
Posted inCulture
Understanding Intimacy
Crazy Girl in Bend
I‘m in the middle of a breakup with my boyfriend of three years. We’ve been having problems all year, but this happened after a sex fight. We never discussed it afterwards and didn’t get closure. I wanted to talk about what happened, how we feel and how we’re going to relate to each other now. […]
Posted inCulture
Understanding Intimacy
Sex Toy Virgin
My wife and I have a good enough relationship, but we’d like to spice things up a little. She was talking with a friend about intimacy the other day and her friend mentioned sex toys. She thinks that we should get a vibrator. I’m all for making things better in the bedroom, but I wonder […]
Posted inCulture
Not So Kinky
I don’t like my partner’s kink. What should I do?
My partner has some ideas about sex that just aren’t a fit for me. He recently shared that his kink is being a sexual dominant. He wants me to be his submissive. I guess he’s experienced this in the past with a former lover and really liked it. I get it that it’s hot for […]
Posted inCulture
Is Sex Therapy for Us?
Even though we communicate well,
our sex life is bad
We’ve been married for a long time — it’s 30 years this summer. Our relationship has been rocky at times, but it’s pretty good right now — with one exception. When the kids were little, we saw a couples’ counselor. We learned to communicate better and that was important. Now, even though we communicate well, […]
Posted inCulture
Understanding Intimacy
Bored in the bedroom
Dear Dr. Jane, I love my partner, but our sex life is dull. We do the same thing every single time. I manage to get myself turned on enough to perform, but if I’m honest, I need to do a lot of fantasizing in order to make that happen. Sometimes, I think about what I […]
Posted inCulture
Understanding Intimacy: Dead Bedroom Frustration
A couple wants to reintroduce physical intimacy and sex into their relationship after their bedroom has been dead and physical touch is now awkward
What are your suggestions for a couple that wants to reintroduce physical intimacy and sex into their relationship after their bedroom has been dead and physical touch is now awkward? From, Frustrated The feeling of awkwardness can start so soon! It’s almost as if there’s some kind of magnetic field (that’s acting in reverse) when […]
Posted inCulture
Understanding Intimacy: Loving Partner, Sexual Trauma
Dealing with a partner’s sexual trauma can be a very difficult issue. What can you do?
How do you handle a problem with sexual intimacy when it’s related to sexual trauma? My partner had some memories of very bad events come back to him a few years ago — the events themselves occurred in his late teens. He’s in his mid 40s now and won’t see a therapist (even the one […]
Posted inCulture
Understanding Intimacy: Freaked Out
I know that my current wife loves me and enjoys sex,
but I get really freaked out when we’re having a dry spell
Dear Dr. Jane, I’m in my second marriage and our relationship is amazing. Our sex life is very healthy. Here’s the problem: in my previous marriage, we had a dead bedroom. We had sex only once or twice a year for many years. It was incredibly difficult for me because I’m someone who feels most […]
Posted inCulture
Understanding Intimacy: Not Feeling It
Can a marriage last if everything else is fantastic, but has no sexual chemistry?
I hear a lot of people talk about getting back to the way things were in the past — passionate and sexy. But, what if there isn’t necessarily something to get “back” to because it wasn’t there in the first place? Can a marriage last if everything else is fantastic, but has no sexual chemistry? Or […]
